Forget Moonlighting. Castle is a Mentalist ripoff. Rick Castle's a consultant for the police department, not a real cop, but his intuative skills allow him to give freakishly accurate cold reads of everyone and everything he encounters, thus rendering him more effective than any of the actual professionals. Castle also has the same basic flaws as The Mentalist: neither the female lead nor the plot live up to the charisma of the lead actor.
Things we're into:
1. Monet Mazur -- Castle's hot, sassy, badass ex-wife. Why can't she be the lady cop?
2. Castle's Mom's shirt -- Seriously, we're considering emailing the network for the shopping guide info. Go ahead, girl. Rock it out.
Grandma Castle also has by far the best one liners ("Not so loud dear, I'm hoping to get lucky." "I just got a hit on my graydar.").
3. Nathan Fillion -- Just as charming and funny as ever, although we can't help but wonder how much better he could be with a decent leading lady and dialogue that packs more of a punch.
Things that give us pause:
1. The show opens with "When I Grow Up" by The Pussycat Dolls. Self-explanatory.
2. Weirdly the sexiest banter/chemistry is between Nathan Fillion and his daughter. Creepy, but also oddly satisfying in its subtlety. Largely because the banter between Fillion and Lady Cop is either super heavy handed ("You're NOT here for justice.") or too obvious and in your face -- like a guy who walks around a party squeezing a raw braughtwurst. Actually, on second thought that would be more creative.
3. Detective Kate Beckett employing the nose tweak to force Castle to behave himself. Maybe that was funny on Muppet Babies, we're over it now.
4. It ends with this:
Castle: We could go to dinner, debrief each other.
Beckett: Why Castle, so I can be another one of your conquests?
Castle: Or I could be one of yours.
Beckett: It's nice to meet you, Castle.
Castle: It's too bad, it would've been great.
Beckett: (leaning in to whisper in his ear) You have no idea.
Come on. Are they kidding? Note to ABC: If you have to force it, it's not hot.
Bottom line: We'd rather watch The Mentalist -- at least then we get to oggle Simon Baker and Tim Kang.
Previously:
Three Thoughts On Tonight's Castle Premiere