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"The Real Housewives of NYC": The Real Claws Come Out

Posted by Chenda Ngak

 

After a few boring episodes, The Real Housewives of New York City finally turn up the drama a notch. We thought for sure that the Fashion Week episode would be more back-patting glimpses of their fabulous lives, but they actually brought it this week. And, no, it's not like that contrived Cindy Adams debacle.

Let's jump right into the scene where Alex and Simon visit Christopher Dean in Williamsburg, to pick out some clothes for fashion week. Simon awkwardly reveals to the designers (and everyone at home) that he's had a procedure to become sterile. The designers politely laugh, but, just like us, they're crying on the inside. Does everything revolve around this man's penis?

At the Russell Simmons show, Ramona doesn't want to say "hi" to Simon and tries to avoid him. Do we blame her? She thinks he's creepy. She can't escape him because she's already seated and he hovers over her on his way to his own seat. Here's the transcript from their awkward exchange.

Simon: You're not gonna say "hi" again?
Ramona: I don't know.
Simon: Come on, shake my hand.
Ramona: (avoids the question)
Simon: Can I give you a kiss?
Ramona: No, don't give me a kiss.
Simon: I can't give you a kiss?
Ramona: No, shaking hands is good enough.

Simon goes on to barrage her with questions over why she always snubs him. After he pushes her to spit out an answer, she finally says, "I feel like you have no depth." "I feel like you're a shallow person," and our personal favorite, "I think you're just too feminine for me, maybe?" Maybe? Simon goes on to ask, "What is feminine about me?" Really, Simon? So pink jeans and loafers don't count? Exhibit A, from Simon's blog:

"But first I need time to pack my pink jeans and as Alex suggests, my new hot pink loafers!" (mccordvankempen.com)

The Countess and Kelly try on clothes at Malo because they are attending the fashion show. During the show, we find out that Kelly doesn't do charity. She doesn't even pretend to care about the less fortunate. We gotta respect the honesty. Although, it does stings a little to realize the rich and quasi-famous really don't give a damn about, say, the other 90 percent of the country. Jill has her luncheon with flamboyant designer Zang Toi. Kelly interviews Jill Stuart and gives us writing tips -- bashing snarky writers. Okay, now we officially hate her.

Bethenny and Jill gossip about Kelly. Jill wants Kelly to put on a bra, already. (Why is she even looking?)  Bethenny holds a grudge from a past party, where Kelly snubbed her, but flirted with her boyfriend. At the Jill Stuart show, Bethenny and Kelly sit together. Let the awkwardness begin. Bethenny goes on to dish about how Kelly has a reputation of being a celebrity cling-on and wants to become a celebrity herself.

At the charity meeting, Kelly thinks it's cute that Jill's daughter, Allyson, has arthritis. And she also doesn't want to lend her name to the charity. Wow. Woowwww. She is gonna have so much fun in the slammer.

PREVIOUSLY:

"Real Housewife" Kelly Killoren Bensimon Was Mistaken For A Man In Arrest Report

"The Real Housewives of New Jersey:" Pure Gold or Purely Terrifying?

The Real Housewives Serve Up Scandals and Crotch Shots


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About Chenda Ngak

Chenda Ngak has contributed to GamePro magazine, Star Wars Insider, OMGlists.com, Flixster.com, and OrbitzInsider.com. In her free time, she blogs about technology, celebrities, and geeky stuff at Effinnerds.com.

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Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married with roommate and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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