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Alex McCord From "Real Housewives of New York City" Needs A Bailout

Posted by Chenda Ngak

 

Alex McCord, The Real Housewives of New York City's most surreal character, has been laid off from her job as a graphic designer for Victoria's Secret. The delusional actress blogs about her layoff and lets us in on some unsurprising revelations...

I was laid off today. At the moment my head is swirling, and I'm not sure what to think about first. I really can't concentrate and I'm not quite sure I can feel my body. This is my first layoff, and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to react. I may be a "Real Housewife" — now more real than ever — but today I'm Everyman. My office was my green zone; a place where I shrugged off whatever might be going on with the show to deal with real challenges that materially affected a bottom line. Once I walked into the building, I was not "Alex from RHoNY" but "Alex who writes Beauty," which certainly helped keep me sane. (mccordvankempen.com)

She goes on to talk about her career, which reveals that she really is a failed actress. So the label-whoring, social-climber is truly desperate to become famous? Now it all makes sense.

 

My career has had an interesting trajectory – from a top tier theatre school (Northwestern) to Europe and then New York, I began as an actress with a wide-reaching creative curiosity. Needing additional income, graphic design was a natural progression from my interests and allowed me to make a great salary over the years throughout full time and freelance positions. From designer to art director, copywriter, corporate identity creator and visual merchandiser, I was able to freelance through those all important first years of my boys' lives and be present for them while still bringing in income. When I finally tired of the endless, existential struggle to break out as an actor, I found within 2 weeks the perfect job at the perfect time. 6 months later the show I'd screen-tested for a year earlier got the green light and was willing to accommodate filming evenings and weekends. Until this week, I had and did it all. (mccordvankempen.com)

We like how she makes sure you know which top-tier school it was, but you know, couldn't bear to say it anyway but parenthetically, lest you think she, you know, really really wants you to know.

Well, speaking of theatre, the McCord-van Kempen family is clearly a circus unto itself. Her pervert husband Simon alone could probably get VH1 to spin off a dating show in his honor. Do we hear "A Shot at Swinging with the Van Kempens"? Oh, come on, like we're the first ones to suspect that they're swingers (as in to swing)?


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

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About Chenda Ngak

Chenda Ngak has contributed to GamePro magazine, Star Wars Insider, OMGlists.com, Flixster.com, and OrbitzInsider.com. In her free time, she blogs about technology, celebrities, and geeky stuff at Effinnerds.com.

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Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married with roommate and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

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