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Kim Kardashian In "Twilight"?

Posted by Jake Kalish

 

Yes, reality star butt cleavage. It was this or a post about Madeline Albright possibly becoming Ambassador to France. But that has nothing to do with television. Also, have you seen Madeline Albright's butt cleavage? Amazing she got to be Secretary Of State with that booty...

So there's this big rumor that Kim Kardashian will be in the next Twilight movie. Kim was happy to talk about this rumor, her new shoe-related business venture, and the delicate nature of our ongoing economic and political alliances with Western Europe.

(Sorry, scratch that last part -  still thinking about that Madeline Albright post)

 Popeater interviewed Kim Kardashian's ass Kim Kardashian, and it she had a lot to say, in hopes of promoting her new project ShoeDazzle.com, which lets subscribers have a professional stylist pick shoes for them each month...

Who's Her Shoe Hero?: "I love watching Rihanna and looking at her shoe choices. I think she's very edgy and different and takes risks, but risks that aren't over the top. She has amazing, impeccable style and to me she hasn't done anything wrong."
Who Needs a Shoe Makeover: "You know who needs ShoeDazzle? That girl Shauna Sand that only wears those clear stripper shoes. You know, they always put her up on TMZ for wearing clear shoes to the market."
On Buzz Saying She Should Be in 'Twilight': "I've never even heard of this. Yea, I would like die to be in 'Twilight' ... being around all those hot guys. I want to be a vampire. I would be one that was probably nice -- no, I kind of want to be evil. I don't know what I'd want to be -- just a vampire. I didn't read (the 'Twilight' books), but my little sisters are obsessed with 'Twilight.'"
 
We want to be nice or maybe evil vampires! Also, we always wear stripper shoes to the market! Now we know not to do that!


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About Jake Kalish

Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights https://www.amazon.com/Santa-vs-Satan-Compendium-Imaginary/dp/0307406709/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1208807460&sr=8-1

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Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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