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The AVN Awards "CockWow" Sketch: "Porn's Golden Globes" Does Comedy [NSFW VIDEO]

Posted by Bryan Christian

All y'all dumbasses that thought that the AVN Awards were porn's Oscars, think again! For one thing, in the pre-show to Showtime's telecast Saturday (delayed months from the January ceremony for what reason???), Best Starlet nominee Sunny Leone opined that it was more like the Golden Globes, which is an analysis that may provide some sort of unimagined insight into the Hollywood Foreign Press, but most likely was just a prearranged segue for red carpet anchor Dave Navarro to talk about her shiny round boobs.

And for another thing, well, we don't remember Billy Crystal ever starring in comedy bits that involved dildos or saying the words "pussy juice". That's totally Golden Globes style, right Jack Nicholson's talking asshole?

Not for the faint of heart, and very defintely NSFW, but we couldn't help ourselves. It's a rarity for porn comedy to be both topical and amusing, and besides, this was too weird not to post.

Maybe you're thinking to yourself, "Man, if only they'd known that Vince Shlomi would be accused of beating up a hooker. I bet they wouldn't have tried that sketch then." If so, well, it's adorable of you to think so.

You only got a few more chances to check out the whole show. We don't advise it, since a) it's a trainwreck, sure, but not quite enough of one to really recommend, and b) they seem to have made it less racy than last year's -- and if that's the case then what's the bleeding point? -- but click here for the schedule.

PREVIOUSLY

ShamWow: His Side, And The Police Evidence Photos

Are You Getting This, Camera Guy?: The ShamWow Mugshots

G4 Gets Porn Star Stoya To Review An Xbox Vibrator [VIDEO]

While Videogum Is At It, How About Them 2008 AVN Awards?


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

HARDDAN said:

#1 Sukittttt!

May 13, 2009 6:16 PM

About Bryan Christian

Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

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Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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