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Sex Advice From Strippers

By Megan Pleticha

heather

Hezzy, 23

Why are strippers better in bed?
It is a stripper's job to be sexy and seduce people — we are pretty damn good at it. Also, we have phenomenal wardrobes.

I want to put on a little strip show for my boyfriend's birthday, but I'm nervous that I'll just end up looking ridiculous. What should I do to make sure it goes off without a hitch?
Move much slower than you think you should. It's a fine line between sexy and epileptic seizure. Lots of eye contact is always hot, and just do what feels natural. Don't "try" to be sexy. It doesn't work that way. And if you're nervous, definitely have a drink. That's what I do!

How can I pick up a stripper?
If you met her at the club, you can't. You're already a customer to her. Otherwise, just be an exceptionally nice guy. Strippers have heard it all and deal with "charming" douchebags all night long.

Is a stripper pole in the bedroom worth the investment?
Yes! If you really want to learn, you have to fall down and make a fool out of yourself a lot so it helps to be able to do that in the privacy of your own home. And once you've learned, it will definitely spice up your sex life.

What makes a good blowjob?
Getting into a position that is most comfortable for you so you don't get tired is key. Eye contact, dirty talk, actually enjoying yourself, lots of moisture, and using both of your hands as well (don't forget the balls and taint!).

I've got a fantasy about boning a cheerleader. What can I say to my normally vanilla girlfriend to convince her to dress up for me?
If you have to convince your girlfriend to dress up for you, dump her. She should want to do it! If you've already bought the outfit for her, that would definitely make her feel more inclined to do it.

How long should you wait before sleeping with a guy?
I don't think it matters. Some people think sleeping with a guy too quickly will make him not respect you, but if he doesn't respect you, it's because he is a douchebag, not because you slept with him. If you want to fuck him, fuck him!

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Comments ( 52 )

@ teal: NO. unless you LIKE the pain. i hope that was a joke.
@ nyguy: whoa there, "break her down"?

definitely an entertaining column. much better than cosmo's 50 ways to please your man (put a donut on his dick and eat it off? waaat...really, cosmo?)

HAY commented on Apr 12 10 at 10:27 am

And this is why she is a stipper; reat sex advice, terrible relationship advice.

rh commented on Apr 13 10 at 1:55 pm

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