Sex Advice From Strippers

By Megan Pleticha

Hezzy, 23

Why are strippers better in bed?
It is a stripper's job to be sexy and seduce people — we are pretty damn good at it. Also, we have phenomenal wardrobes.

I want to put on a little strip show for my boyfriend's birthday, but I'm nervous that I'll just end up looking ridiculous. What should I do to make sure it goes off without a hitch?
Move much slower than you think you should. It's a fine line between sexy and epileptic seizure. Lots of eye contact is always hot, and just do what feels natural. Don't "try" to be sexy. It doesn't work that way. And if you're nervous, definitely have a drink. That's what I do!

How can I pick up a stripper?
If you met her at the club, you can't. You're already a customer to her. Otherwise, just be an exceptionally nice guy. Strippers have heard it all and deal with "charming" douchebags all night long.

Is a stripper pole in the bedroom worth the investment?
Yes! If you really want to learn, you have to fall down and make a fool out of yourself a lot so it helps to be able to do that in the privacy of your own home. And once you've learned, it will definitely spice up your sex life.

What makes a good blowjob?
Getting into a position that is most comfortable for you so you don't get tired is key. Eye contact, dirty talk, actually enjoying yourself, lots of moisture, and using both of your hands as well (don't forget the balls and taint!).

I've got a fantasy about boning a cheerleader. What can I say to my normally vanilla girlfriend to convince her to dress up for me?
If you have to convince your girlfriend to dress up for you, dump her. She should want to do it! If you've already bought the outfit for her, that would definitely make her feel more inclined to do it.

How long should you wait before sleeping with a guy?
I don't think it matters. Some people think sleeping with a guy too quickly will make him not respect you, but if he doesn't respect you, it's because he is a douchebag, not because you slept with him. If you want to fuck him, fuck him!

FIND MORE
I Did It For Science: Live Nude Girl
Sex Advice From Sex Addicts
Ten Pop Songs Performed By Porn Stars

Comments ( 54 )

Wow, did Hooksexup raid Devil's Point or something?

Lm commented on Apr 02 10 at 6:24 am

this was great! love the actual sex advice and slightly raunchier tone of this piece. more strippers!

hib commented on Apr 02 10 at 9:19 am

I'm sort of surprised by this whole "stripper pole in the bedroom" thing. Since when is that something that is even considered? Has anyone actually ever seen one? If so, doesn't it end up covered with dirty laundry and stuff?

Ben commented on Apr 02 10 at 9:58 am

I guess you couldn't find a male stripper. They are so rare and elusive.

luke commented on Apr 02 10 at 10:25 am

interesting that both girls advocated not coming clean if you cheat.
also interesting: "(don’t forget the balls and taint!)"

JOSH commented on Apr 02 10 at 10:36 am

Rocket rules, and thanks to her I'll look at Ikea with a whole new perspective.

RWL commented on Apr 02 10 at 10:39 am

Wow, some people really like the word "douchebag" huh? Very insightful!!

Paul commented on Apr 02 10 at 1:37 pm

Hi! guy r u feel lonely,Is it weird that I am 23 and still a virgin?
I would like to invite you to join my circle of friends on
w/w/w-BlackWhiteDate-com . My username is "looking4love".
Give me your comments on my photos. I'm waiting 4 u.

fs commented on Apr 02 10 at 2:02 pm

Well, I live in Portland where these girls are from. I tend to not want to take love advice from what are rumored to be emotionally troubled girls with severe cocaine addictions. Rocket is a pretty girl, but I think handing out buttons with a picture of just your own face on them is about as un-sexy as it gets.

Shaun commented on Apr 02 10 at 2:27 pm

No, FS, I'z not lonly. I have mah cheezburger az mah best frend.

luke commented on Apr 02 10 at 3:12 pm

123456

buraq commented on Apr 02 10 at 8:57 pm

Try this dating site www.BlackWhiteDate.com

Really Nice!! My username is "looking4love".

Give me your comments on my photos. I'm waiting 4 u.

szese commented on Apr 02 10 at 11:10 pm

Shaun! Buddy! So nice to hear from you. Those buttons were actually made for about ten girls in Portland who were promoting PDXBlackbook.com...not all of them had our photos on them. The site made them for us. This business is all about self-promotion, so that is what I do and I make no apology for it. I love how you buy into the "all strippers are emotionally troubled girls with severe coke addictions" stereotype. It really shows how ignorant you are.
Thanks to everyone (including Shaun) for the comments! It's fun to read the feedback. Also, thanks to Hooksexup for contacting me :)

Rocket commented on Apr 02 10 at 11:15 pm

excellent advice all around--I'm impressed.

h commented on Apr 03 10 at 3:38 am

Down to business. First, I'd like to ponder why a stripper would know anything about sex. Honestly, unless I'm mistaken, it's your job to sell your body and not get laid. And on another stance, why would I take a salesman's opinion on anything? It's your job to sell your body. The hell would you know about commitment or love? If you've managed to learn anything, it's from your personal lives, not your "profession." You can leave yourself with whatever delusions that leave you comfortable, but to your "customers" that is what you are. An item. An object. And where does the idea that strippers do better in bed come from? Wouldn't I ask a harlot? Considering the job you ended up with, I'd argue that you know nothing at all.

Bill. commented on Apr 03 10 at 10:05 am

"If you have to convince your girlfriend to dress up for you, dump her."

What a crock of shit.

Ceece commented on Apr 03 10 at 10:27 am

Strippers ARE better in bed because they are generally more adventurous, in my opinion. But then, they are also better to play video games, because they know how to talk trash. You know who really stinks in bed? Prudes.

Nate commented on Apr 03 10 at 2:10 pm

Bill, what does commitment and love have to do with sex?

squirrellywrath commented on Apr 03 10 at 2:18 pm

Strippers are better in bed BECAUSE they know how to sell themselves. Good sex has nothing to do with love or commitment. That's just silly.

Emerald commented on Apr 03 10 at 6:25 pm

first off some of the advice was good though some wasnt and for those who think good sex has nothing to do with love well youve never made love which in its own form is the best sex becuase the two care and show it they also want to please the partner and vice versa it more intense then just sex

Ikon commented on Apr 03 10 at 8:12 pm

Very impressed by the the 3 girls! gorgeous, sexy and smart

Ulises commented on Apr 03 10 at 10:09 pm

Bill, before writing your valuable opinion at least read the title of the column! "sex advice" why are you talking about love and commitment??? also it is evident that you haven't had sex with a stripper because they are superb in bed.

Marte commented on Apr 03 10 at 10:12 pm

Your great Rocket!

commented on Apr 03 10 at 10:55 pm

I m a male stripper and I love my job

CJ Reynolds commented on Apr 04 10 at 1:12 am

Heh... sex advice from strippers. Woot!

cgeers commented on Apr 04 10 at 6:26 am

ggjh

commented on Apr 04 10 at 7:22 am

Hi! guy r u feel lonely,Is it weird that I am 23 and still a virgin?
I would like to invite you to join my circle of friends on
___ www---BlackWhiteDate--com
Give me your comments on my photos. I'm waiting 4 u.

szese commented on Apr 04 10 at 11:01 am

Good advice!

https://www.hoponbaby.com

Hummy commented on Apr 04 10 at 3:37 pm

Hey Hooksexup, you need to upgrade your spambot filters ... *sigh*.

bluecats commented on Apr 04 10 at 4:20 pm

"In your opinion"? So, not from your own experiences then. Well, my experiences have taught me that more alcohol and drugs do not make better sex, regardless of who you're with, particularly strippers and waitresses. It's just easier, that's all. If you're looking to get laid with no commitments, whores are a good choice. If you think a pretty face (under very low lighting) makes a good heart, or you're a lovesick puss, then stsy away from em. Believe me on that one.

Kanto commented on Apr 04 10 at 4:42 pm

I want Sex Advice From Strippers to become a regular column.

Donna commented on Apr 04 10 at 5:19 pm

From an older woman's perspective, who was married for 24 years, I think this is all good advice. Specific advice was given on how to strip for one's man--slow, deliberate movements, slow song, clothing easy to remove, etc. Trading with your lover for a sexual favor is great advice, and one should always communicate what one does and does not like in bed in a positive way. Negativity will only make one's mate apprehensive and feeling not-so-sexy! In which case, neither party wins! Cheating? Once again, these columnists are correct in my opinion. Very few relationships make it when a partner cheats. If it truly was a 1 time mistake, it's best kept to yourself. And never let yourself be in that type of situation again. Do not judge these girls because they are strippers, drug addicts and lowlifes. Not all strippers are drug addicts. And, as stated above, not all men with Rolex watches tip well!

commented on Apr 04 10 at 5:43 pm

The last one seems very democratic.

cjm commented on Apr 05 10 at 12:48 am

Taint for the win. hahaha

commented on Apr 05 10 at 12:53 am

Oh yes. I must've forgotten. Real sex is just plain humping. Because by that standard, that totally makes masturbation a legit form of sexual intercourse, doesn't it? Who needs another person at all? It's just quick pleasure and nothing more. You fools honestly know nothing of sex. If you remove the emotional aspect from sex, all you have is an empty husk that leaves you wanting something more. Why not just get a blow up doll? I used to wonder why other women were so dissatisfied with their partners. I also used to wonder why people needed advice on sex. You think it'd be easy to figure out. But, now I know. You people don't even know what sex is.

Bill. commented on Apr 05 10 at 9:10 am

Sex is not elitist Bill.

Nate commented on Apr 05 10 at 10:45 am

your fukin hot lov 2 shuv my stik in there and for my b-day can u do somestripping for me plz thx lol wow !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

commented on Apr 05 10 at 1:07 pm

Bill and Kanto should get married and make many babies together

yo! commented on Apr 05 10 at 2:17 pm

No Bill, YOU don't know what real good sex is

Mikel commented on Apr 05 10 at 2:18 pm

I think "Bill" may be a little jaded.

PDW commented on Apr 05 10 at 4:00 pm

Well, for me this was great. I have VERY low self esteem so once I get over that, I am definitely going to try some of the things suggested. (Not the "pegging", but the other suggestions). I, for one, LOVE the fact that the dancers are sharing this advice, it is their job to be sexy so they tend to have good insight on how to be sexy. :P

A-non commented on Apr 05 10 at 5:04 pm

Can I Fuck You Heather please

commented on Apr 05 10 at 6:35 pm

Lol @ angry people. Rocket, I love the colors! MUAH!

Paul commented on Apr 05 10 at 11:55 pm

I found the article to be funny and insightful due to the actual opinions and language, therefor maybe something that can be regarded as practice, and not simply speculation. Also, to bring "Bill" up again, sex is what you make of it. You can have passionate sex with someone you share a deep emotional connection with, or you can just have a quick fuck. Sex itself is simply penetration, it's the mind set that really counts. If you want quick satisfaction, you'll get it. If you want something more, you can get it( though the feelings may not be shared, unfortunately). The only wrong way to view sex is by objectifying women as simply sexual playthings, and that shit's just not right.

Alex Delarges commented on Apr 06 10 at 12:20 am

Pretty good advice, but there were a couple of odd ones. If your girlfriend doesn't wanna bang you in a cheerleader uniform, just dump her. That's a little far, but basically everything else works well. Be careful about the cheating thing though. Yeah, you may lose her if you tell the truth, but you'll definitely lose her if she hears it from someone else.

Ol' Gregg Morpheus-Jackson commented on Apr 06 10 at 2:04 am

"I don’t think it matters. Some people think sleeping with a guy too quickly will make him not respect you, but if he doesn’t respect you, it’s because he is a douchebag, not because you slept with him. If you want to fuck him, fuck him!"
WRONG! Men don't respect sluts, like the slut that said that.

anon commented on Apr 06 10 at 10:39 am

I think women shouldn't have to get paid to have sex they should be able to have sex when they want to!!!!

DJ commented on Apr 06 10 at 10:40 am

Should I let my boyfriend go as deep as he wants, even though it really hurts.

Teal commented on Apr 06 10 at 12:15 pm

at least i didn't have to buy a bottle of "champagne"

harry krishna commented on Apr 08 10 at 5:41 pm

if you want to know how to pick up a stripper, don't ask a stripper. You CAN pick them up at work. some strippers can't handle the fact that they are human because they have to try and justify what they do to themselves so they pretend to be impervious to any human interaction (like they are a machine there to make money ad manipulate guys). But they get bored, tired, horny ad doubt themselves like every woman does in any situation. just pay attenion to their signals and give them what they want. it may be harder with some strippers because that is exactly what they do all night long. Others will be like any oter woman and feel tis person knows me. Any stripper that says you can't pick them up at work is either angry at the fact that she's a stripper and is trying to exert some unrealistic superiority over anyone who is a non-stripper (ie customers) or they are a lesbian. I have known and picked up strippers who are in relationships, swear they would never date a customer and sleep around as much as non strppers. in fact a lot of strippers in relationships are living a double-life and lying to their partners and friends outside the club. They have their stripper persona and their regular person persona and the stripper persona can do whatever she thinks se wants to do because its not really her. If you meet a stripper that doesn't lead this double life and likes to strip then just get to know her and break her down like any other woman you want to date. persistance and confidence in your approach is best.

nyguy commented on Apr 10 10 at 1:37 am

Sex Advice From Strippers

By Megan Pleticha

Comments ( 54 )

Leave a Comment