Today in the Apocalypse: The Only Survivors Will Be Cockroaches And Breastaraunts

My parents recently moved to Clearwater, Florida. Since then, I've come to learn that the town is known for two things, none of which is the nearly-deserted beach they live on: being the home of Scientology and the birthplace of Hooters. Make of that what you will, but let's just say that the holidays are going to be on the usual side from now on...

Florida has even created a new buzzword in order to have at least one story that doesn't involve monkeys escaping for zoos, crates full of pigs spilling all over the highways, and drunk people crashing through their neighbor's front rooms. That word is "breastaurants" and its king, Hooters, took in one billion dollars last year:

"People get in a fun atmosphere around Hooters, and I think they feel that," Bob Passwaters tells us. He's been doing marketing for Hooters for nearly two decades. "Of course, you have the girls and the food, kind of a neighborhood escape."

An escape where the food is inexpensive, and entrees are under $10.

These breastaurants offer a carefree atmosphere where Passwaters says, people can forget about the bad economy and eat a good meal.

"They just love getting away from sitting at their computer seeing all the bad news in the markets going down and this is going down," Passwaters told us. "Heck, let's go to Hooters and have some chicken wings and relax a bit."

Another reason breastaurants are seeing big success: local clientele. Regulars keep coming back for more.

Dude, they keep coming back because it's cheaper to have dinner and boobs at the same place than to have dinner, then head to the strip club for overpriced drinks, scary fake boobs and all the violence that has been taking place in the parking lots.