Today in "The Sun Made This Up": Raccoon Bites Man's Manhood

 

Scanner is turning into the Castration Station today, what with this story and Emily's post. But what do you expect from monstrous feminists? 

So, the British rag The Sun claims that a drunk man was trying to have a go at a racoon. You know, the old raping-the-racoon trick? According to the story, the fiesty raccoon fought back, biting the man's penis. 

"He's been told they can get things working again but they can't sew back on what the raccoon bit off," according to a pal of the man. 

OK, here's a few reasons why this story seems dubious. 

--Sex with a raccoon? Wouldn't this drunk man have to catch the raccoon first? 

--The man in question, Alexander Kirilov, is conveniently Russian, making it difficult for English-only speakers to confirm the story. A Google News search leads to a handful of stories about this in Italian, Czechoslovakian, and Norwegian, but none in Russian.

--Anyone can alert The Sun to a story tip via text message. Anyone can text message from anywhere, including from a pub whilst pinted up. 

On the other hand, here's a reason it could be true: people are dumb. 

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