Dating Confessions by You "Callin' me baby when I'm trying to get over you doesn't help. I just don't have the heart to ask you to stop because my heart skips a little each time you say it to me."
DISPATCHES
posted 4/30/2009
25) Ian Curtis
Dread pervades many of the songs Curtis wrote as lead singer of post-punk pioneers Joy Division. "Lights are flashing, cars are crashing/it's getting frequent now," he sang in his haunting, trademark baritone in "She's Lost Control." Such dark material was hardly a stretch; the short-lived Curtis struggled with depression and poorly medicated epilepsy. But that pain produced searing, melancholy music and performances so intense they bordered on scary. (Concertgoers couldn't distinguish his unorthodox dance moves from the seizures that cut several gigs short.) Curtis is the patron saint of Brooding Brit Rockers, his influence resonating with the likes of Morrissey, Thom Yorke and the petulant brothers Gallagher. Stiff upper lip, be damned. Sometimes there's nothing sexier than a good cry. — B.G.
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24) Bono
Just shut up about Bono, okay? We know he's crazy. We know his hair is back-combed and his boots are lifted. We know his current album will never be as good as his earlier work (and his earlier work was never as good as his even-earlier work, ad infinitum). We know he wore way too many sleeveless shirts in the '80s, wraparound glasses in the '90s, and leather bomber jackets in the '00s. We know he thinks he can save the world. But you know what? Maybe he can. At least he's trying. Love him or hate him and his god-complex, nobody else — and we mean nobody — can turn a Letterman appearance into a transcendental experience. And nothing's sexier than a passionate drive you can get swept away in. Okay, the accent — and having the Edge stand in the background — helps, too. — N.A.
23) Jarvis Cocker
There are three stages in the psychosexual superstardom of Pulp's Jarvis Cocker. First there's the horny nostalgia of "Do You Remember the First Time?" and "Disco 2000" — he's pensive, but still snotty enough to wave his fanny at Michael Jackson. Next we have the pissy schadenfreude circa "The Fear" and "Bad Cover Version" — you broke Jarvis' heart, but that doesn't mean he can't delight in the evidence that your new boyfriend is an absolute tit. Finally, we have modern Jarvis, a guy so Zen-like in his world-weariness that the chorus "cunts are still running the world" becomes a mantra. Whichever Jarvis you fancy, trust that he'll be there when your love life spontaneously combusts — and then he'll smother your smoldering issues under the weight of his own Wagnerian insecurities. — C.L.
22) Billy Idol
Despite his gargoyle grimace and proclivity for waltzing about topless all the time, this ex-Generation X bad boy had a fugitive sweetness lost to most modern listeners. Sure, he had that naughty single about wanking, and owned enough motorcycle leather to de-hide the Chisholm Trail, but remember that bottle-blonde crooner with rice-paper-thin skin from the "Eyes without a Face" video? Truly the personification of ivory and anthracite, Billy was a John Lydon you could bring home to mum. — C.L. [See also Lisa Carver's legendary Hooksexup interview with Idol. — ed.]
21) Anthony Kiedis
In junior high, Sandy Shelby-Case would bring one, and only one, VHS cassette tape to any given sleepover — a copy of the Red Hot Chili Peppers' "Under the Bridge." Sandy was hot. Sandy was edgy. Sandy only dated high-school boys. Sandy would ignore us all, perch inches from the TV, and play in slow-motion any scene in which a shirtless Anthony Kiedis ran on the sand. This is what Anthony Kiedis does to women, pubescent girls — hell, anyone. He's the bad-boy addict you shouldn't love. He's dark, flowing hair without Fabio's cheese. He gives a whole new meaning to tube socks. He is the reborn new-age vegan with killer abs and a baby named Bear. He might kiss boys. He might kiss trees. You don't know. You just want him to kiss you. — N.A.
