Kim Kardashian sex doll eats just like you and I do

If you watched yesterday's surreal Wayne Rooney sex tape but were alienated by its cold, CGI abstractness, then fret no more. Here to provide precious, tangible intimacy is Kinky Kim, a Kim Kardashian sex doll that hungers just like you hunger.

This "filthy love doll" is inspired by Kardashian's Carl's Jr. commercial and is a reminder of how foolish the Pilgrims that landed on Plymouth Rock really were. "When you stick it in her face," entices the copy on the sex toy's packaging, "It'll get all over the place!" Or, in other words, Spielberg's/Kubrick's depiction of the future in the film A.I. was not nearly as bleak as it should've been.