Dating Confessions by You "We only had one quasi-date, so it's baffling to me how I can feel so flattened by your disappearance. How could I have been so wrong about the chemistry?"
Dating Advice from . . . Animators by Chantal O'Keeffe Q: Is there a way to enjoy the primitive game of cat-and-mouse without crossing any lines? A: Well, if the mouse starts picking up ironing boards and frying pans...
Have you ever created a character based on someone you dated?
I definitely use my art as a way of dealing with crummy relationships, not so much as a slight at them but more just to get it off my chest. I usually try and make it subtle enough so they'll never guess, but I know so it's my own secret revenge. So I suppose the answer is yes, and always bad!
As someone who creates everyday, do you insist on a certain level of creativity in your partner? Would you date a bank teller, for example?
I've always dated creative types, and I'm currently dating a fellow animator. We collaborate on projects together. It's definitely the best relationship I've ever been in because we have so much in common and we can spend a lot of time together creating things. I think a certain level of creativity is important in a partner, as you will have more in common, but not a necessity.
Has being an animator increased your sexiness?
Being an animator you tend to be a bit of a hermit, so it's hard to judge my own sex appeal, but it's definitely a good conversation starter when I do finally emerge from my studio. Boys tend to be fascinated by it and want to know all the ins and outs of how it works, which definitely helps keep the conversation going and makes you seem more interesting than saying, "I work at Wal-Mart."
Best date yet?
That's a tough one, most of my best dates are in the extremes of the seasons, like a really hot, hot summer where you can just wander around, eat ice cream, go to the seaside and ride the carousel. Or just before Christmas when you can go ice skating and cuddle up. The best dates can often fall at the beginning of your relationship when you feel so nervous you might throw up on yourself. As crazy as it sounds, that's the best feeling in the world.
I can write lots of dirty letters, texts, all of that, but when it comes to saying that stuff out loud, I freeze up. How can I get more comfortable with dirty talk?
This is definitely a problem a lot of people have, me included! I recommend vodka. Dutch courage is the only surefire solution I've found yet.
Pick-up lines, conversation starters, whatever you want to call it — what's a non-awkward way for me to get a cute girl's attention and start a conversation?
A simple introduction minus the sleaze will definitely keep a girl's attention. If a girl is making eye contact with you in a bar or any social setting, she definitely wants you to come over and talk to her. So as cliche as it sounds, just go over and be yourself. I don't know any girl who has been won over by a pick-up line.
Sarah, 33 Have you ever created a character based on someone you dated?
Nope, but I have accumulated a lot of knowledge from my dating years that are all stored in the YouTube of my brain. I will sometimes use these reactions, gestures and expressions in my animation.
As someone who creates everyday, do you insist on a certain level of creativity in your partner? Would you date a bank teller, for example?
I do tend to gravitate toward creative people. My husband is also an animator. I think one reason our relationship works so well is that we push each other creatively, outside of our day jobs. He understands that sometimes I need to retreat, lock myself in a room for hours and draw. And I understand when he does that same thing. Ironically, he was a bank teller during college.
What has working as an animator taught you about relationships?
Animators must have a solid understanding of human behavior and body language. We share our workload, praise and failure. We must give and accept criticism gracefully and correct our mistakes humbly. We need to understand a hero's perspective one day and the villain's the next. And since it can take weeks to complete one scene, animators need patience. Being an animator is kind of like relationship boot camp.
I know everyone says no games, but sometimes the primitive game of cat and mouse can be so fun. Is there a way to enjoy the process without crossing any lines?
I am a game hater. I have never played cat and mouse without someone getting hurt. To me games are like a Tom and Jerry cartoon: fun to watch, but painful to be a participant.
I can write lots of dirty letters, texts, all of that, but when it comes to saying that stuff out loud, I freeze up. How can I get more comfortable with dirty talk?
When I have a shot to animate that I am nervous about, I get into character and I act it out. You could try creating a character and acting out the things you want to say in private. Pretending you are someone else may help break you out of your shell, so you'll feel more confident and natural when the real you is with your special someone.
Has being an animator increased your sexiness?
Hmm. . . it has certainly increased my dorkiness.
Interviews by Chantal O'Keeffe. Dating Advice From... appears on Fridays. Have questions for the general public? Send them to .
