Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 21)
The stars are saying happy birthday, baby: even with the ups-and-downs this week's lunar eclipse may bring, you're gifted with endurance, organization, and a brilliant, rational mind. You'll be able to handle anything that comes your way, and still blow out all those candles. Just remember to let go, too: playing with cake is fun. Feeding your lover cake is even better . . .
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Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22)
This week's lunar eclipse may affect your job, coworkers, or career situation. Expect some changes on that front, and don't freak out: change is good. Take this opportunity to shed your old snakeskin, crawl out of your dusty cocoon . . . whatever metaphor floats your boat, use it, and sail on to a new, fresh you.
Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
This week's lunar eclipse might reveal your lover in a whole new (moon)light. Remember the first time you farted (or, for those with more delicate sensibilities, passed gas) in front of your sweetie? Whether it resulted in blushing cheeks, hysterical laughter, or a whole new fetish . . . it moved your relationship one step deeper. Think of whatever comes to light during the eclipse in that way: be it startling, hilarious, or stinky, it has the potential to bring the two of you that much closer.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)
Tuesday's lunar eclipse might hit home . . . almost literally. Don't worry; you won't have stellar debris land in your living room. But you may have a sudden shift in living situations, some interesting roommate changes, or just get hella tired of that mold in your shower. Whatever changes occur, realize that even if it pricks a little at the time, change is good. You may love that shag carpet, but baby, think of your lovers' rug burns . . . use this opportunity to improve your life, or at least, your decorating.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
The thing about eclipses — like Tuesday's lunar one — is that they can make things turn out not exactly like you'd planned. Kind of a like a trickster genie in a bottle, you may get your wish but regret ever having made it. Try this instead: wish for the best, but be open to any good manner of getting it.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Remember the old cartoon character Scrooge McDuck, and his propensity for diving headfirst into his giant piles of cartoon money? This week's eclipse might be diving into your financial affairs, and because eclipses tend to be a tad unpredictable — like the best of lovers — you might get a windfall, you might receive an unexpected bill. Just make like McDuck and love both: if you get a bill, be glad the universe will give you the resources to pay it.
Pisces (Feb. 19-Mar. 20)
Like Nietzsche said, you need a little bit of chaos to give birth to a dancing star. If that sounds painful, take it on a more metaphorical level — life may feel up in the air, helter-skelter, and a tad crazy. And though eclipses may bring endings, they also bring new beginnings. Enjoy whatever new constellations move into your universe.
Aries (Mar. 21-Apr. 19)
You shine like the sun sign that you are, Aries. This week, though, brings a lunar eclipse, which might cast a shadow on events. Stay flexible if plans go not quite as expected, and your fiery energy will pull you through. Baby, you sparkle and shine even in the dark . . . but you've heard that before, haven't you?
Taurus (Apr. 20-May 20)
Photographing your lover is great fun, though there's always the chance you'll see something unexpected in that frozen frame. Maybe it's a contemplative look you've never seen before, the beautiful way their body casts a shadow, or some cellulite. This week's eclipse might show you new aspects of your lover, as well. Just remember: everyone has cellulite.
Gemini (May 21-Jun. 21)
Are you jealous of Anthony Bourdain and Andrew Zimmern, two foodies who get paid by the Travel Channel to search the globe for new and exotic fares to taste? Don't be. You may not be dining with belly-dancers in Uzbekistan or hunting giant iguana in the jungle, but you are on your own personal quest to discover what you want to do next with your life. You can have your cake, and eat it, too.
Cancer (June 21-July 21)
We all know you're sensitive, dear Crabs, and so this week's lunar eclipse might have you feeling a tad tumultuous. If things feel stressful, follow your water-sign nature and get wet. A dip in a pool, a hot shower, floating in the ocean . . . whatever it takes for you to immerse yourself in the moment, please do. Yes, that shower is big enough for you...
Leo (July 22-Aug. 22)
Of course you look best lounging on your Leo throne, rocking the gold-plated tiara and leonine bling. But this week's lunar eclipse might bring money matters to the front and center, and you need to pay attention. Get your affairs settled, even if you have to forgo buying that new platinum crown. You don't need material goods to prove it: everyone knows you're naturally royal.
