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Dear Jealous of the Other Jealous Bitch,

The adult thing to do in this non-adult situation is to ask what's going on, and explain exactly what you want from him in this situation. You can't say "I trust you" and "we've moved past it" if, in your heart-of-sneaky-Internet-hearts, you haven't. That said, a person can't fuck up, act contrite, and then expect you to remain neutral while he behaves in sketchy ways.

The fact that he's not hiding his Facebook feeds, and telling you whenever they talk, leads me to believe he's being faithful. If I had to guess why he's still talking to his ex, I would say it's the perfect storm of her being pushy and him being non-confrontational. Have you ever told an ex that you can't talk to them anymore, because your current S.O. dictated it must be so? Even when you know it's for the best, you feel like an idiot. Like someone who can't make her own decisions, or the abused character in a Lifetime movie. You don't need a dick to know it's emasculating.

Then again, deleting someone from your friend list takes about two seconds. If your boyfriend were really keen on making up for what he said (the exact nature of which I do not know, but I'll assume is disloyal and cheater-ish for the purposes of this conversation), then he'd do it and be done with it. If he knows his ex has boundary issues and the relationship has gotten him into drama before, why would he make it harder on himself now?

Unless he's cheating. That'd be a good reason.You need to approach him in a calm way and ask what's up: "I saw some messages on your Facebook and I'm concerned. What kind of contact have you had with Fiona lately? Why do you think she's doing this? If she continues doing it, what's your game plan?" Negotiate something that feels fair for both of you. Complete and total denial of contact might be too draconian, but maybe he could take her off his instant-messenger list? What if he stayed friends with her on Facebook, but agreed to have some disgustingly cutesy photo of the two of you as his main profile picture? You know, send a strong message?

Finally, use your common sense. If he's hanging out with you six nights a week and the majority of your evidence consists of you going apeshit every time she sends him a viral video, it's time to grow up and find something better to focus on. Make your own viral videos. Make the other jealous bitch even more jealous because you're so awesome and creative.

Dear Guilt-Ridden Girl,

I don't buy this "I forgave him immediately" for one second. Part of the reason you're cheating on him now is because he did it to you first. His pseudo-affairs made you feel like petrified doo-doo and now you're using them to justify your actions. "You may not want me, Mister Boyfriend, but there's a Mister Boyfriend 2.0 who will fuck me with the frequency and creativity which I desire."

What if I told you I don't think it's dick you're after? The libido issue is a red herring, a way for you to express your anger toward your partner. The one thing you want just so happens to be the one thing he can't give you? If you truly had a baseline level of respect and consideration towards him, it wouldn't be an issue. I mean, it'd still be an issue. I know what it's like to not get laid and have a whiny vagina. But you'd find a way to work around it. There are couples who go for eons without sex, whether it's because of illness or distance or Shark Week or whatever. You're having sex once a week with someone you've been with for five years. There's a difference between being fed sub-par food and starving.

Don't worry, I'm not discounting your sex drive. I get that you're sexual and are looking for those qualities in a beau. I'm just saying that something inside you changed when he started falling for this other person, and later carrying on a clandestine cyber-affair with a cross-country stranger. You felt hurt, and I don't blame you. Did he initiate these affairs because he sensed your dissatisfaction? Did he feel invalidated? Blamed? Criticized? Possibly. I don't have his side, so I don't know how it all got started.

But it needs to end. Your current method of problem-solving is not productive. You need to make a decision, and the way I see it, you have three basic choices:

1. Roll up your sleeves and do what it takes to give this relationship a decent chance — that is, get individual and/or couples counseling and stop seeing the New Guy. No friendly hangouts, no phone calls, no emails, no nothing.
2. Ditch Boyfriend and continue fucking New Guy.
3. Drop both of them and be single for a while.

I want to close with something like, "You can't have your emotional security and your red-hot fucking, too," but that's not true. You can; you just need to do the legwork. Cheating is a shortcut — the kind that will come back to bite you in the ass every time.