I decided to take a look at some of the recent confessions you guys have made. Some of them make me laugh, some of them are just plain boring, while others send me into states of eye-twitching paranoia. Does this ever happen to you when you read some of the confessions? Not because you think it's about you, since the chances of that happening is, what, like 1 in 90,000? For me, it's more because I tend to think that if one person has the thought then what stops my boyfriend from having similar thoughts? And then from there on it's just a disastrous roller coaster ride inside my brain.
"sometimes i just want to get drunk and forget that you're not everything i made you out to be.. and now i'm stuck with you."
That confession, when I read it yesterday, was the cause of much paranoid, leg-twitching throughout the day. Everything from, “Oh shit, when did my boyfriend get so good with the computer that he found hooksexup.com and figured out how to post his deepest, darkest secret to the world?” to “What if he IS stuck with me? Does he regret our drunken meeting that happened one year ago next week? Am I that horrible?”
Some (ok, many) will tell you that, at my worst, I can be a bit of a worry-wart, that I make a mountain out of a mole and all those other awful cliches. From stupid dating/relationship worries to the latest Maple Leaf listeria outbreak here in Canada, I realize that sometimes I let my imagination run wild. I think the worst because it's usually the worst that happens, but also, when you expect the worst and something great happens instead, you can be pleasantly surprised. All you positive thinkers out there, you're always being let down by people because you expect good things to happen, you think the best of people. “Oh, he would never do that to me! We care too much about each other.” Guess what? He WOULD do that to you, if he hasn't already. It's like my friend S.R.P. says, “People will not only live up to your negative expectations of them, they will surpass them.”
I admit, it's a pretty cynical outlook towards life, but it's also realistic. I bet most of you could list on one hand how many times you've been let down, either by a lover, co-worker or friend just in the last six months. I try not to dwell on the bad things that have happened in past relationships, since it just means extra baggage for current or future ones, but a little baggage is sometimes needed, you know? I mean, you need to carry your clothes around in something, right? And let's face it, I've passed the age where it's acceptable to use garbage bags to move your clothes.