So sayeth the ho..

Maybe women should try reaching for their purses more often after dinner.

I have no problem with honest sex-work; trading value for value. I do have a problem with a date, which is ostensibly mutually beneficial, ending in one party paying merely because he has a penis.

Well, I think there are still whores because there are women (and gigalo men) who realize that they can capitalize upon a person's desire to have meaningless, discardable sex.

But I also think that whores who don't get paid monitarily are probably just communists.

Viva la Revolucion!

extraneux,

For me it's usually the opposite.  I don't make money, but when I'm not totally broke I always want to go dutch.  Yet I have had guys fight me to be the one to get to pay for everything.

Presumably, they're just more comfortable with that role or something...

Of course, I think there are also some guys (hopefully not too many) who WANT to pay because they're expecting that if they do you'll want to pay them back in other ways.

I meant to say "I don't make much money" FYI

I think it's jealousy. Women *do* get to fuck whomever they want, while (most) guys don't. Women reject, men are rejected, and the women who take what they want have it far better than any guy.

"Women *do* get to fuck whomever they want"

That's a myth if I ever heard one.  There's a reason that belief comes mostly from men, especially those who aren't at the top of the food chain.  

Plenty of men know it's a myth because they reject women, and most women know it's a myth, well, because we get rejected sometimes.

I wrote a well worded, pithy response, but it wasn't published...

Ah, so it only seems like men get rejected more often than men because I'm a loser. Er, I mean, uh, "not at the top of the food chain." Thanks for clearing that up.

Can I change that to, "men get rejected more often than *women*"?

"That's a myth if I ever heard one.  There's a reason that belief comes mostly from men, especially those who aren't at the top of the food chain.  

Plenty of men know it's a myth because they reject women, and most women know it's a myth, well, because we get rejected sometimes."

Ay-men, Toluca! Yes, it is the shocking truth. Women are also subject to the risks and disappointments inherent in romantic and sexual endeavours because that's, you know, human experience. Hope that won't fry anybody's brain too much.

I think airhead cleared that one up nicely. Unfortunately, she left a little bit off. Barely decent men CAN go out and get laid, but not if they're unwilling to put some training into being a manipulative person. Those of us who HAVE put said training in (even if we have chosen to set aside some of the darker knowledge we have acquired) find it a great deal easier.

Fishnets,

I haven't noticed either problem: women being branded "sluts" for their sexual experience or men complaining of a lack of "willing partners." I live in NYC where the ratio of men to women is in my favor (I am a man) and attitudes are fairly progressive yet, men still pay for dates. I only occasionally pay for dates, but I'm also a poor graduate student so girls that date me know upfront that I won't be a free meal-ticket.

There is also a contradiction in your argument when you say that men pay because women need to see that the man is serious, "worth upping her number" and not going to run-off. This implies that men are doing the ultimate rejecting which contradicts your earlier statement that men complain about a lack of willing partners. One can not simultaneously have a dearth of willing partners and reject willing partners.

Toluca, Unfortunately the culture has deemed a male-female interaction a date only when the man pays. This is, however, not universal.

Leon, I've rejected more than I've been rejected so there is at least one data point which contradicts you!

"If a woman is even barely decent looking, she can go out and get laid if she chooses to."

Sure.  Myself, a somewhat above-average looking woman according to most people, can go out and get laid.  But not by /anyone/, which was a key part of the OP's complaint.

Actually I'm betting the vast majority of men could get laid (other than by sex workers) if they wanted to as well.  It's all about standards and preferences.  I think media creates this false expectation in a lot of men that they should be able to get babes.  THe standard for mainstream beauty in women has become so narrow, I think that causes a lot of problems...

Toluca--I agree.

Extraneux--I don't know where you're getting the idea that it's only accepted as a date if the man pays. I know there are some people, male and female, who still feel quite strongly about that and I've even dated a couple but my impression has always been that that notion is seen as quaint at best and certainly not the unquestioned norm. Certainly in New York, at least. Also, where are you hanging out that you've never noticed a stigma attached to women who are unabashedly sexual? Even I haven't always escaped that one, and I wouldn't even say I'm particularly experienced for my age--about average. I'm just not particularly shy or coy about my sexuality. And I live in Boston, also a comparatively progressive-minded major city. Trust me, these attitudes are alive and well.

Fishnets--Well, I personally like your argument. Very clever, and some good points. This society definitely sends women really mixed messages about how we're supposed to feel about sex. Don't even get me started.

The fact that this girl is speaking about relationships and sex as a sort of advice column is comical. It represents what is truly wrong with everything, (including her argument, which has some merit) everyone is taught or pushed to act as they do by someone else. If you would like to solve the problem then you have to start at the source. Maybe it is unfair to judge her as well, but then again she seems to have no problem judging the rest of the world. Take it from me, (personal experience) this girl will fuck, anyone over for a dollar. If anyone takes anything this person says to heart then I feel sorry for you. The funny thing is, she will read these comments feel bad for herself, ("why is everyone so mean to me?") stress herself out, cry, drink, maybe even break out, (she knows what this means). Mostly because she still feels sorry for her self and her "struggles". This person is not unique in any way. She rides a wave as long as she can until another, better, (in her mind) one comes along. So I say to you Mistress E., good luck with your tangled web, which I have no dought will come crashing down upon you when you least expect. Ladies and gentlemen I give you the real Fishnet blogger...does anyone have a dictionary handy? I need to look up that word..."whore"