Why do people take such a long time to respond to their e-mails and texts?? Are people really that busy that they can’t take one second out of their action packed schedules to simply toss back a courteous line or two of reply in a timely fashion? I mean, whenever anyone sends me any e-mail or text messages, I'm right there with a response. Right there!! Usually it's quite witty and thoughtful to boot.

I used to date someone that would CONSTANTLY e-mail her friends back and forth all day. I know this, because I worked with her, and her cubicle was right behind mine. I would hear her back there, laughing and braying like a fucking goat on nitrous oxide - she was typing away her little missives galore. Let me tell you, when we broke up, and we STILL had to share that space, and I would hear her chortles and chuckles - probably at the amorous e-mails of her new lovers - it was NOT what I would call a happy work environment... tap tap tap.. tappity.. tap.. fucking tap..

You can bet that she didn't make anyone wait 10 years to hear a response...

I think that relationship successfully ended jealousy for me. I had my fill after that, and I just shut off. After we broke up, she went on Hooksexup and showed me the profile of some guy that she was dating. For months I would stalk their respective profiles trying to ascertain whether they were still together - desperately trying to catch snippets of conversations on the phone where she’d be giggling like a school girl. Every day I would come in to work and stew, and stew...

It was a miserable time..

Finally I blew up at her one day and said she was driving me crazy. She turned around and said it was none of my business, and that I was the crazy one, and that she would rather stick a knife in her eye than have to hear my voice ever again. Well, in a sense I can understand that now. I've had relationships with jealous people before, and it's not a pleasant experience.. Still, I was not even in that category at all. I was just poaching like a demented egg in the hot waters of my own jealousy, I didn't actively agress upon her; questioning her, acting like a typical jealous guy...

It was all internal..

I was constantly thinking about who she was with.. was he smarter?.. Did she love sex with him?... Did she have bigger orgasms with him?.. Was she lying about the ones she had with me?? I mean when you're jealous, the thought of your ex girlfriend having sex with someone else is maddening. It's a powerful thing. It fills you with Hulk-like rage.

After all that bullshit, I just shut that entire section of my brain off. Not worth it. If someone I’m seeing wants to go and fuck some other guy, if they think they're better off with someone else.. mazel-tov.. go in peace... god bless.. Just try and give me the courtesy of a heads up.

I had an old girlfriend tell me once, that jealousy shows the person you’re with that you care - she was once fucking crazy bitch though..

Women want it both ways, they want you to be jealous, but they want it on their terms - they don't want to be inconvenienced by it, but they want to feel wanted. Well, the trouble with that is you can't control emotions so easily - so that just doesn't work.

Anyway, as far as that girl I went out with at work is concerned, we eventually kind of made a peace and actually re-started up a little bit of a thing that lasted for a short while, then she moved to Argentina for like 6 months, and when she came back we had a falling out and haven't spoken since.

In the end, what's the point of all the emotional upheaval we put ourselves through in these relationships? One might argue that it's just all a learning experience, but if you don't LEARN anything and keep repeating the same behaviors over and over again, then it's just absurd. In my opinion people should just enjoy each other... period. If there's too much work involved forget it. People should enjoy each other's bodies, company, laughter, anything else is unnecessary...

I think people are too quick to try to force pegs in holes, both literally and metaphorically. We should learn how to experience each other on some new kind of level. I mean doesn’t it all seem so boring after awhile? Possibilities are endless when it comes to human interaction, and yet we’re limiting ourselves to so few options. It just doesn’t make much sense to me.. I don’t know though, like Woody Allen said in Manhattan…

‘You really shouldn’t take any advice from me.. When it comes to relationships I’m the winner of the August Strindberg award..’

I’ve never had the marriages, but I’ve had plenty of the bitter divorces..

 

 

 

Giada!