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The Modern Materialist

Retro Arcade: Classic Tabletop Arcade

Posted by Alex Zalben

My love for retro arcade games is only tempered by my inability to be any good at them. With the sole exception of Frogger, which I can totally HOUSE, I generally am very, very bad at everything from Joust to Pac-Man to Q-Bert. Especially Q-Bert. There’s something about pushing your joystick left to go on a diagonal that just never quite clicked with me.

And yet… The 150 Classic Game Tabletop Arcade from Hammacher Schlemmer is completely lust-worthy, even given its hefty price tag (which I’ll get to in a second). The unit is 24" H x 22" W x 24" D., and weighs a child-like 65 lbs.* Beyond the 150 game list, it can also play just about any PC game, and has provided jukebox software, so you can load it with your own mp3s. Though given the delightful joy of eight-bit sound, god knows why you’d want to play Paperboy while listening to T-Pain.

Actually, that sounds pretty fun. Never mind.

I’m not going to copy the 150 game list here**, but let’s just say it contains the best game ever (Gauntlet), and the worst (Dragon’s Lair, a game which inexplicably had no instructions on how to play it, and even more inexplicably, I kept plugging quarters into).

As mentioned, the unit will run you a bit pricey, but it's certainly cheaper and smaller than any full sized arcade you'd pick up. And with 150 games? Well, it's like you're SAVING money. [$2,495.95, Hammacher Schlemmer]

[Via Nexus404]

*In this case, the term child-like literally meaning, “similar to a child,” not, “full of wonder.”

**Aw, who am I kidding? Yes I am:
Asteroids®, Asteroids® Deluxe™, Battlezone™, Black Widow™, Centipede®, Crystal Castles®, Gravitar®, Liberator™, Lunar Lander™, Major Havoc™, Millipede®, Missile Command®, Pong®, Red Baron™, Super Breakout®, Space Duel™, Tempest®, Warlords®, Atari Math Gran Prix™, Atari Maze Craze™, Atari Night Driver™, Atari 3D Tic-Tac-Toe, Atari Adventure™, Atari Air•Sea Battle™, Atari Video Cube™, Atari Outlaw™, Atari Slot Racers™, Atari Space War™, Atari Street Racer™, Atari Submarine Commander™, Atari Super Baseball™, Atari Super Football, Atari Surround™, Asteroids®, Backgammon, Battlezone®, Blackjack™, Bowling, Breakout®, Canyon Bomber™, Casino, Centipede®, Circus Atari™, Combat™, Crystal Castles®, Demons to Diamonds®, Desert Falcon™, Dodge ’Em™, Double Dunk™, Flag Capture™, Football, Fun With Numbers™, Golf, Gravitar®, Hangman, Haunted House™, Home Run™, Human Cannonball™, Millipede®, Miniature Golf™, Missile Command®, Off the Wall™, Quadrun™, Radar Lock™, Realsports® Baseball, Realsports® Football, Realsports® Tennis, Realsports® Volleyball, Sky Diver™, Slot Machine, Sprintmaster™, Star Raiders™, Atari Star Ship™, Steeplechase™, Stellar Track™, Swordquest: Earthworld™, Swordquest: Fireworld™, Swordquest: Waterworld™, Ninja Kids, Ninja Spirit, Video Checkers, Video Chess, Video Olympics, Video Pinball, Yars' Revenge®, Pac-Man, Ms. Pac-Man, Galaga, Galaxian, Dig Dug, Rally-X, Pole Position, Xevious, Dragon Spirit, Bosconian, Rolling Thunder, Mappy, Spy Kid, Spy Hunter, Defender, Defender II, Gauntlet, Joust, Joust 2, Paperboy, Rampage, Robotron 2084, Smash TV, Bubbles, RoadBlasters, Blaster, Rampart, Sinistar, SuperSprint, Marble Madness, 720°, Toobin', SPLAT!, Satan's Hollow, Vindicators, Root Beer Tapper, Klax, Taito Legends, Space Invaders, Jungle Hunt, Bubble Bobble, Operation Wolf, Rainbow Islands, Operation Thunderbolt, Phoenix, Space Invaders Pt. II, Colony 7, Electric Yo-Yo, Zoo Keeper, Great Swordsman, Gladiator, Exzisus, Plump Pop, Rastan, Super Qix, New Zealand Story, Battle Shark, Continental Circus, Plotting (aka Flipull), Volfied, Ninja Kids, Space Gun, ThunderFox, Tube It, Return of the Invaders, Tokio, Digital Leisure, Dragon's Lair, Dragon's Lair II, Space Ace


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

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Wendy Atterberry is a recent transplant to New York City via Chicago. You can often find her at some karaoke dive bar singing her repertoire, which includes "Midnight Train to Georgia," "Daniel," and most recently, "Sweet Dreams." Don't expect her to always hit the right notes. She lives in Manhattan with her boyfriend and two cats, and has a blog like everyone else.

Alex Zalben is a writer living in New York City. He's written for McSweeney's, Modern Humorist and PulpSecret.com. As one-fifth of the sketch comedy group Elephant Larry, he has been written up in the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, and pretty much every other major publication. Their blog was named one of PC Magazine's Top Blogs for 2007, and they recently won an ECNY Award for their viral short, "Minesweeper: The Movie." Alex did not know love until he bought his first Mac.

Steph Auteri is a freelance just-about-everything, with a special fondness for home goods she can't afford. She has been published in Publishers Weekly, New York Press and Hooksexup. She runs the blog selfhelpme.net, and her work can be found at stephiswrite.com.

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