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Marry, F*ck, or Kill?: Bond, James Bond

Posted by Nicole Pasulka

We're going to level with you. We're not huge James Bond fans. We have seen pretty much all the movies, but this is because we love chase scenes and the technology. Even so, we have our Bond Girl moments. Those smoking jackets and all that shoulder biting always get us in the end. We've got a secret favorite secret agent, but we want to hear from you. Sean Connery is classic Bond with a taste for martinis and a carpet on his body. Pierce Brosnan drives Bond's remote control car and does bad things to Teri Hatcher, and Daniel Craig's abs alone could save us from an international ring of terrorist spy thieves. There's a gun to your head and a cord around your throat: Who will you wed on the beach at sunset, who will you Goldfinger for the computer chip in the briefcase, and who will you decapitate with your hat after he foils your plot for world domination?

Marry, Fuck, or Kill:

  • Sean Connery

  • Pierce Brosnan
  • Daniel Craig

+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Oct 19 2007, 10:07 AM
Filed under: ,

Comments

lagiulia said:

Is this even a question?

Marry Sean Connery

Fuck Daniel Craig

Kill Pierce Brosnan.

October 19, 2007 11:56 AM

sushiesque said:

normally I have to think these m/f/k things over for a second, but not this time: marry connery, fuck craig, kill brosnan.

October 19, 2007 11:58 AM

Isis Uptown said:

Fuck Daniel Craig, as often as possible, thank you

Marry Sean Connery

I don't want to kill anyone, and I do like Brosnan, but those are my choices, so, kill Brosnan

October 19, 2007 12:27 PM

moongirli said:

Agreed.

Marry Connery, Fuck Craig as many times as humanly possible, and kill Brosnan, who is really two-bit as Bond or as anyone else.

October 19, 2007 12:43 PM

simplyd23 said:

no!!!  connery hits women!  marry brosnan, fuck craig, kill connery!  hasn't anyone seen the remake of the thomas crowne affair?  H-O-T-T-T-T!!

d

October 19, 2007 12:59 PM

el2139 said:

agreed: marry brosnan, fuck craig, kill connery (who probably won't do you much good in bed anymore, anyway)

October 19, 2007 1:56 PM

rachel said:

marry- sean connery for the accent alone.

fuck-daniel craig for those abs, those eyes, that animal sexiness.

kill-pierce brosnan- blah.

October 19, 2007 2:36 PM

Rachel also said:

You don't marry James Bond.  He's a bad good guy.  You just fuck and feel a sense of accomplishment.

October 19, 2007 2:57 PM

gail said:

marry brosnan - used to watch remington steele & loved him in the matador

fuck craig - but really only cause i'll have to run over connery with my car for hitting women.

October 19, 2007 5:13 PM

Bea Gneiss said:

Marry Pierce (sorry, but even The Matador makes me cream)

Fuck Sean (he could make you stutter for a week)

Kill Daniel Craig (I'm sure he's a nice guy, but "meh")

October 19, 2007 5:39 PM

beamishboy said:

I secretly kind of like the George Lazenby James Bond.  

Otherwise I agree with the person who pointed out you don't marry James Bond, you just fuck him.  I mean, he really isn't that interesting.  I actually thing you probably sleep with him, and then spend the next day coming out of the lust-induced haze, gradually remembering all the stupid, corny pick up lines he used, until finally you start to ask yourself "what the hell was I thinking?"  And that's before you find out he gave you crabs.  

October 19, 2007 10:50 PM

Sarah said:

Marry - Daniel Craig (to ensure the maximum opportunities for fucking; that man IS sex)

Fuck - Sean Connery (my guy friends would be so jealous!)

Kill - Brosnan

October 20, 2007 8:02 PM

braxtonblack said:

marry- daniel craig

fuck- daniel craig

kill- pierce brosnan

October 22, 2007 3:18 AM

theresareichov said:

Marry - Pierce (no reason, I just wanted to be sure to fuck Mr. Connery)

Fuck - Sean (anytime anywhere ... did I mention any time)

Kill - Daniel (layer cake sucked)

October 22, 2007 1:52 PM

theresareichov said:

You're "moderating" comments?

scanner has fallen...

October 22, 2007 1:55 PM

Chele Belle said:

FUCK&MARRY: Daniel Craig

KILL: Pierce...even though he has a certain charm that gets even better when he plays a dark immoral character e.g. The Matador

KILL: Connery...old stuff can be good stuff BUT at this point with Craig in the running...well let's just put it this way...if the list was Moore, Connery and Brosnan...then Connery would be MARRY and/or FUCK.

October 22, 2007 5:42 PM

venus_noire said:

Marry Brosnon. Smart, sweet and hot. Plus I love the Matador

Fuck Craig. Oh yeah.

Kill Connery's dumb misogynistic butt.

October 23, 2007 6:50 PM

pev_amri said:

Obviously, I'd have to fuck Sean Connery. That yummy chest hair. And I'd marry Daniel Craig-- those eyes could keep me engrossed for years. Sorry, Pierce, I think that means you have to go.

October 24, 2007 12:14 AM

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about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married with roommate and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

Raised on the mean streets of New York City's Upper West Side, Katie Halper is a comic, writer, blogger, satirist and filmmaker. Her writing appears in The Huffington Post, Alternet, and Takepart.com. Katie co-founded Laughing Liberally, is an artistic director of The Tank, and is at work on her second documentary, Another Camp Is Possible.

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