Say there! Got a friend who's a little too proud of their BM's? Sure, we all do. Then write down this number: 24... as in "24 karat feces"! That's right, just take one of these wondrous 24 karat gold leaf pills -- made by Tobias Wong and Ju$t Another Rich Kid, so you know they're quality -- and in no time, your crap will be fabulously flecked with the same material that countless scumbags and innocents have died over for thousands of years. Don't believe us? Well, just take a look at the 24 karat outrage over similar items such as the $2,000 ccPhone and the gold-dipped McDonald's coke spoon. Operators are standing by, so don't let this wondrous advance in fecal technology pass you by! Order today!