Register Now!

Media

  • scannerscanner
  • scannerscreengrab
  • modern materialistthe modern
    materialist
  • video61 frames
    per second
  • videothe remote
    island
  • date machinedate
    machine

Photo

  • the daily siegedaily siege
  • autumn blogautumn
  • brandonlandbrandonland
  • chasechase
  • rose & oliverose & olive
The Hooksexup Insider
A daily pick of what's new and hot at Hooksexup.
Scanner
Your daily cup of WTF?
Hooksexup@SXSW 2006.
Blogging the Roman Orgy of Indie-music Festivals.
Coming Soon!
Coming Soon!
Coming Soon!
The Daily Siege
An intimate and provocative look at Siege's life, work and loves.
Kate & Camilla
two best friends pursue business and pleasure in NYC.
Naughty James
The lustful, frantic diary of a young London photographer.
The Hooksexup Blog-a-log: kid_play
The Hooksexup Blog-a-log: Super_C
The Hooksexup Blog-a-log: ILoveYourMom
A bundle of sass who's trying to stop the same mistakes.
The Hooksexup Blog-a-log: The_Sentimental
Our newest Blog-a-logger.
The Hooksexup Blog-a-log: Marking_Up
Gay man in the Big Apple, full of apt metaphors and dry wit.
The Hooksexup Blog-a-log: SJ1000
Naughty and philosophical dispatches from the life of a writer-comedian who loves bathtubs and hates wearing underpants.
The Hooksexup Video Blog
Deep, deep inside the world of online video.
The Hooksexup Blog-a-log: charlotte_web
A Demi in search of her Ashton.
The Prowl, with Ryan Pfluger
Hooksexup @ Cannes Film Festival
May 16 - May 25
ScreenGrab
The Hooksexup Film Blog
Autumn
A fashionable L.A. photo editor exploring all manner of hyper-sexual girls down south.
The Modern Materialist
Almost everything you want.
The Hooksexup Blog-a-log: that_darn_cat
A sassy Canadian who will school you at Tetris.
Rose & Olive
Houston neighbors pull back the curtains and expose each other's lives.
The Hooksexup Blog-a-log: funkybrownchick
The name says it all.
merkley???
A former Mormon goes wild, and shoots nudes, in San Francisco.
chase
The creator of Supercult.com poses his pretty posse.
The Remote Island
Hooksexup's TV blog.
Brandonland
A California boy capturing beach parties, sunsets and plenty of skin.
61 Frames Per Second
Smarter gaming.
The Hooksexup Blog-a-log: Charlotte_Web
A Demi in search of her Ashton.
The Hooksexup Blog-a-log: Zeitgeisty
A Manhattan pip in search of his pipette.
Date Machine
Putting your baggage to good use.

Scanner

Happy Birthday: Woman Busted With 16 Grams In Her Vagina

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

You're no longer a teenager-- in fact, you've just turned 20 that very day. How do you celebrate your newfound maturity? 

If you happen to be a certain woman from Maine, you drive to Massachusetts, score 16 grams of coke, stuff it all in her vagina, then drive back home with a wanted criminal who doesn't even know how to spell the word "Jonathan." 

We're serious about the name thing:

Sans was stopped Oct. 25 at 6 p.m. for driving 69 miles per hour on a 45-mile-per-hour stretch of Interstate 95, and when asked by Trooper Chris Storm to identify himself, he said his name was Jonathan Brackett, state police prosecutor Diane Dubay testified in the District Court Monday. When asked to spell the name, Sans spelled Jonathan, “Jothan,” said Dubay.

With Sans was birthday girl Alicia Kelly, who gave up the dope while she was being booked. Why did Alicia confess to having dope when she wasn't even charged with any crime beforehand? Dumbass Sans again, for no reason at all, gave them up:

Dubay testified that after Sans was read his Miranda rights, he told the trooper he was paid $100 to drive a couple to Massachusetts specifically to buy cocaine.

We look forward to more incompetence from these kooks in 2047, when they'll likely all be paroled...

Via Seacoast Online.

 

Related:

Woman Arrested For Smuggling Cocaine In Inappropriate Place

 

Woman Has Stillborn Baby After Putting Drugs In Her Vagina

 

Mom Gets Five Years In Prison For Going Down On Her Daughter's Friend

 

Groupie Shocked To Find Out Pop Music Douche Used Her For Her Body

 

George Michael Should Have Known Better Than to Use the Loo


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

No Comments

Leave a Comment

(required)  
(optional)
(required)  

Add

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker/The Consumerist. He will be first against the wall, come the revolution.

in

Archives

about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook will be published in fall 2008. Emily lives in Greenpoint, Brooklyn with her cat, but just one . . . so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

Send us links!


Tags

we recommend

partners

IN THE MODERN MATERIALIST



IN SCREENGRAB



IN THE REMOTE ISLAND



IN 61FPS



IN DATE MACHINE