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The World's Largest Flower Is A Giant Deformed Penis

Posted by Brian Fairbanks

 

Not the penis plant, although pretty close. Actual photo after the jump, in all its bloomin' glory...

The world's largest flower, with the Latin name of Amorphophallus titanium, which means "giant deformed penis," is growing rapidly.

On Friday night, the rarely seen Titan Arum will briefly be in bloom in downtown Sydney, a city where it has not been exposed in four years. Botanic Gardens Trust executive director Tim Entwisle said the flower, which blooms for 48-72 hours and smells "like a dead rat," has a "phenomenal" growth rate, "up to 10 centimeters per day." 

Wait, why did the photographer use this picture, with these individuals in it? Very questionable.

Apparently, that giant schlong in the middle is called a tube... and it weighs up to 70 kilograms. (Our legs were momentarily spread wide open; now they are clamped tight enough to cut off circulation to our legs...)

One last thing: the plant is housed at the Royal Botanic Garden... where families get in for $11! See more here, via the Brisbane Times.

 

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Comments

jenny said:

so the pic you posted, I believe is a Rudbeckia, or some other type of composit flower.  Tooooootally different from the stapeliad Amorphophallus!

The cool thing about Amorphophallus is that whenever it blooms in captivity in the world it makes news - it's THAT awesome.  You can grow similar, smaller, less stinky, prettier versions in your home (various Stapelia species).  The vegetative part just looks to the untrainted eye like a kind of fuzzy cactus, but the flowers are magnificent.

Uh yeah, first undergrad was in botany.  Pardon my geekiness.

October 29, 2008 11:49 AM

profrobert said:

Isn't that the same thing as the Corpse Flower that bloomed a couple of years ago at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens?  Or do I have my giant, smelly flowers confused?

October 29, 2008 12:04 PM

beautifulpetal said:

I would like to answer Brian's question about the photographer's choice of pictures with people.  That is to add prespective to the picture.  Without a reference of some sort the viewer has no way to judge size like is it 5 inchs or 5 feet.  Most ladies would like to know.

In answer to profrobert, based upon my Google search, I think Amorphophallus and Titan Arum all refer to the flower commonly refered to as the Corpse flower.

November 1, 2008 5:17 PM

About Brian Fairbanks

Brian Fairbanks, the Senior National Political Correspondent for Hooksexup, is a filmmaker living in Brooklyn or New Orleans, depending on the season. He is a heavily-armed advocate of gun control.

in

about the blogger

Emily Farris writes about culture and food for numerous publications and websites you've probably never heard of, including her own blog eefers. Her first cookbook, Casserole Crazy: Hot Stuff for Your Oven was published in 2008. Emily recently escaped New York and now lives in a ridiculously large apartment in Kansas City, MO with her cat, but just one... so far.

Brian Fairbanks is a filmmaker living in the wilds of Brooklyn. He previously wrote for the Hartford Courant and Gawker. He won the Williamsburg Spelling Bee once. He loves cats, women with guns, and burning books.

Colleen Kane has been an editor at BUST and Playgirl magazines and has written for the endangered species of dead-tree magazines like SPIN and Plenty, as well as Radar Online and other websites. She lives in exile in Baton Rouge with her fiance, two dogs, and her former cat. Read her personal blogs at ColleenKane.com.

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