The best thing about these sexual positions for the lonely and the loveless is how disturbingly familiar they all seem. Not like we've ever DONE any of these things. But maybe, one rainy evening, with nothing but baking soda in the fridge and informericals on the TV, we thought about heading to the Ball Pit at Chuck-E-Cheese, but still had the self-respect to settle for drinking a fifth of Captain Morgan’s and blowing up balloons.