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  • Reason No. 736 Why One Should Not Go On a Reality Show to Find True Love

    The most recent Bachelor, Brad Womack, talks to US Weekly about why he didn't pick either of the two finalists, DeAnna Pappas and Jenni Croft, and left the show all by his lonesome:

    "DeAnna and I had something that’s pretty special. But I did not see this crazy love that would turn into a lifetime," says the still-single Womack. "I’m still looking for the same things that I said all along — a best friend, a life-long partner and someone to fall madly in love with."


    Uh, so maybe TV...eh, not the best place for it, Brad? We know people meet under crazy circumstances, and sometimes it's a little forced and still works, but like the Bachelorettes before them, we think these two just wanted to be on TV. We can see where the relationship would have gone: Brad working hard at the bar, wondering why he ever thought it was a good idea to go on The Bachelor in the first place, while DeAnna takes a trip to NYC to audition for America's Prom Queen only to be sorely disappointed because she's past her prom queen prime, and goes in for her first rhinoplasty which gets botched and leads to a lifetime of surgeries which, in turn, bankrupts Brad and forces him to lose his bar, his hair, his tan and his will to live. Good call, Brad. High five!

    Previously: Scanner Bryan asks Did TV's Bachelor Find The Greatest Love of All?


    Posted Nov 30 2007, 10:04 AM by Emily Farris with | with 1 comment(s)
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  • Did TV's Bachelor Find The Greatest Love Of All?

    Over on MSNBC, there's a blow-by-blow-by-painful-blow account of Brad, the latest Bachelor, walking away from both finalists (and, one presumes, an overhyped, disastrous engagement) on Monday's series finale of, well, guess. You can also read the official version on ABC.com.

    In the limo, [DeAnna] says it feels worse that he didn't pick either of them and that she doesn't understand. It hurts that he told her he couldn't find what she had in anyone else, but that he still didn't choose her. She says she's sick of being the one who makes the guy perfect for the next woman.

    Brad sits alone in the garden with tears in his eyes as he looks at the ring and the rose he didn't give to either woman.

    Wow. You know, we were thinking of throwing some Whitney Houston in here right about now, but Greatest Love of All is too inspiring for such a tragic ending. So hey, buddy: this one's for you.


  • In Which We Somehow Conflate Zombie Sex and 'The Bachelor'

     

    We love zombies. How else can you explain the fact that we watch The Bachelor? Last night, the silicone zombies of The Bachelor ate our brains for at least 40 minutes before we could pry ourselves away from the couch. Brad (sexiest Bachelor EVAH!) took the silicone zombies on picnics, and gave them roses, and diamond earrings, and one of the silicone zombies left in tears (the most dramatic exit EVAH!!) She was pretty fast for a zombie. Now, this morning, we get word of a zombie sex guide, including tips for crotch rot and zombie SM. What we want to know is: Who will get the final rose?

     


     




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about the blogger

Nicole Pasulka is a Brooklyn writer and editor who's always on the lookout for the dirty. Her other virtual home is at The Morning News, where things are squeaky clean most of the time.

Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married with roommate and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

Editorial Director, Hooksexup Media:
Michael Martin

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