Our fearless – and quite possibly senseless – movie janitor is watching every movie on the IMDb Bottom 100 list. Join us now for another installment of Unwatchable.
First, let me apologize for the long layoff between Unwatchable entries. I deserve some of the blame, as does Netflix, but mostly I’d like to blame Tyler Perry. In my capacity as a film critic for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, I have been assigned to review several of Perry’s movies. Since Perry never screens his stuff for critics, this generally entails catching the first show on opening day and quickly turning around a review, which is a pain in the ass – but then, so is sitting through a Tyler Perry movie in the first place. When Meet the Browns came out earlier this year, I held my breath waiting for the assignment, but this time I dodged the bullet. Until now, that is. I’d blame cruel fate, but I think we all realize by now that I’ve brought this upon myself.
When Meet the Browns appeared at #65 on the IMDb Bottom 100 list, I dutifully clicked over to Netflix and put it at the top of my queue. It arrived a couple of weeks ago, and after seven or eight stiff drinks, I popped it into the DVD player. What appeared on my television was not the 2008 theatrical release Meet the Browns, however; rather, it was a 2004 stage production of same, shot on shoddy video and released straight to DVD. “Netflix,” I says, “you sent me the wrong Meet the Browns. Send me the right one.” And then I wait and I wait and it never shows up. “Netflix,” I says, “the Unwatchable faithful are waiting! Where the hell is Meet the Browns?” So they send another copy and it finally arrives and now here I am. So let’s just get it over with.
Single mother Brenda Brown (Angela Bassett) is struggling to raise her three children in the projects of Chicago. When the factory that employs her closes down and the electric company shuts off the lights, things are looking bleak. Bus tickets to Georgia arrive in the mail; it seems Brenda’s father, whom she never met, has passed away. She and the kids, including oldest son Mike, a basketball phenom, go down for the funeral and meet the extended, wacky Brown family as well as neighbor and basketball scout Harry (Rick Fox).
Harry sees great potential in Mike, but Brenda is mistrustful of him, and men in general, mainly because Mike’s daddy is a non-child-support-paying jackass. When Brenda’s father’s will is read, it turns out that she has inherited a dilapidated house he used as a rental property. Will Brenda and the kids stay in Georgia surrounded by her crazy relatives or return to the Chicago projects where she has no job and no prospects. It’s a head-scratcher!
Basically what we have here is another bowl of Tyler Perry’s usual tepid gumbo of sermonizing, self-help platitudes and ham-handed ensemble comedy. I hate to come down too hard on a grassroots filmmaker catering to an underserved audience, but watching his movies, I get the impression that Perry’s holy trinity is Jesus, Oprah and Good Times, and he doesn’t seem to notice when the pieces don’t fit together. It’s a jarring transition from the chitlin-circuit antics of David Mann in his Bozo the Pimp outfits to the would-be wrenching social commentary about absent fathers. And let us not even speak of Perry's obligatory yet inexplicable cross-dressing cameo as Madea.
I can say that Meet the Browns is the best Tyler Perry movie I’ve seen, mainly thanks to the heartfelt performance by Angela Bassett, who elevates the proceedings above the likes of Why Did I Get Married? or The Family That Preys. That’s not the same thing as saying it’s any good, though.
Previously on Unwatchable:
66. Jail Bait
67. Nine Lives
68. Kazaam
69. The Perfect Holiday (pending)
70. Epic Movie