Hey, remember when Nicolas Cage used to make good movies? Neither do we. He's taken so many subpar roles lately that we forgot that we used to look forward to seeing his name in the Morning Deal Report, and with more bombs under construction (like Ghost Rider 2 and National Treasure 2), he's starting to stretch pretty hard to explain why he bothers to do them in the first place. National Treasure 2 is the result of a lifelong crush on Helen Mirren, says Cage, and while we can't disagree that "she looked sensational in chainmail" in Excalibur, that's no excuse to inflict a sequel to one of the dumbest blockbusters in recent history on the public. Falling back on the old we're-just-waiting-for-the-right-script line for Ghost Rider 2, Cage says he wants to take the character "really dark — way dark", which apparently didn't occur to anyone involved in the making of the first movie about an alcoholic stuntman possessed by a demon from Hell. We're getting pretty tired of all these flimsy justifications, Nic — why not just admit that you need the money so you can buy a new castle? — Leonard Pierce