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The Remote Island

"90210": The Countdown Begins

Posted by Lindy Parker

Today is the day, and We. Are. Ready.  We feel like Brian Austin Green summed it up best when asked for his thoughts on the much-hyped series, "it could be good, or it could suck terribly."  Our thoughts exactly, Brian, but then, nothing ventured nothing gained.  Here's our final list of selling points, one for every hour until the show airs:

  1. The writers of Freaks and Geeks.  Gabe Sachs and Jeff Judah, a writing duo that penned the show we love so much we sometimes clutch the dvds of its lone season to our chest in a display of spontaneous affection.  If there's anyone that can bring some much needed nuance and gravity to 90210 it's Sachs and Judah.  Writing this show intelligently seems like a task equivalent to Phaethon guiding the sun chariot across the sky, but we know they are up to it. 
  2.  No Tori Spelling.  She threw a tantrum over her salary  and bailed on her commitment to reprise her role as Donna Martin.  We're not that disappointed.  It took us a while to warm up to her reality antics, and that bond is still so tenuous -- we don't know if it would withstand the return of 90210's whiniest character.
  3. Brenda Walsh, we need closure.  It's like that boyfriend that callously broke up with us in high school, never gave us a reason, and left us wounded and awkward in all our subsequent relationships.  Shannen Doherty left us too soon, and reconnecting with her now will help heal old wounds and let us finally put our abandonment issues to rest.

 Like we said, we are ready, 90210.  Let's do this.


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

mmmrice said:

I hope it gets better!  Last week was kind of a wash.

September 8, 2008 12:49 PM

About Lindy Parker

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She now writes for hooksexup.com's TV blog, "The Remote Island." She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

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Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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