Dancing With the Stars is back tonight! The anxiously awaited live 2-hour seventh season premiere begins at 8 pm sharp.
Although we have absolutely no idea what goes on at the DWTS studio that merits 2 hours of television coverage (followed by two subsequent nights of DWTS programming) we are very excited about this season. Here are a few reasons why:
Numero 1: Kim Kardashian's epic booty encased in sequins . . .
We know this one is obvious. But that team of stylists and costumers and spangle seamstresses has quite a job on its hands. We honestly don’t know how they will manage to put all that ass safely into one outfit. And we cannot wait to find out.
Number 2: We are also psyched about Lance Bass repping the gay community. Lance told E! Online “my biggest concern is I just hope it doesn’t hurt the gay community in any way. I definitely feel a responsibility of making sure I represent well.”
Lance, we love that you are so out and proud. We love that you feel a responsibility to the gay community (although you’ve got to stop carrying the weight of the gay world on your shoulders; you’re gonna give yourself a hernia).
But can we be honest? Ballroom Dancing is already as flamboyant as RuPaul dipped in cotton candy, wrapped in satin, lip synching Gloria Gaynor hits. We don’t know what kind of tricks you think you have up your sleeve to gay it up or gay it down or whatever, but we can’t wait to find out.
Number 3: Blogging. More specifically, celebrity blogging. We love it. We love the typos and the wide-eyed candor. We can’t wait for the Dancing stars to spill their hearts on Myspace, or tonibraxton.com, or whatever. We’re hoping Cloris Leachman starts an internet beef with Warren Sapp. About what, you ask. We don’t know, but again, we can’t wait to find out.
Number 4: Live television! Live, bitches. That means anything could happen. Cloris could crack a hip. Lance could dedicate his first dance to all his homies down at Vlada. Kim could have some kind of a booty-related wardrobe malfunction. We’re hoping all of the above, except the hip. We’re rooting for Cloris. We hope she shows all these young bucks what’s really good. Get it girl. We’ll be watching.