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“Dirty Sexy Money”: Girl Fight

Posted by Olivia Purnell

 

This week Nick George is caught in the middle of two love triangles, which, we guess, would make it one big love hexagon.  Or a love VIN diagram.  Or, possibly, it just makes for an all out hair-pulling, face scratching, earring ripping girl fight.  

Let’s get into the dirty sexy details shall we?

Dirty Sexy Love Triangle Number 1:
Nick is having some marital issues with Lisa.  They want to work it out blah, blah, blah, but the truth is he can’t choose between Lisa and Karen.  Lisa finds out about Nick’s indecision, and confronts “skinny slut” Karen (her words, not ours . . . although if the skinny shoe fits . . .).  Karen tells Lisa she’s not afraid to fight a fat girl (again, don’t shoot the messenger).  And the two throw down in the Darling foyer.

Cut to the aftermath.  Enter Jeremy Darling.  The littlest Darling has always had a crush on Mrs. Lisa George.  Lisa’s vulnerable.  Jeremy’s willing and able.  So, predictably, the two go at it on the couch in Lisa’s Gallery.  Guess that makes this a love square, not a love triangle.  A love rectangle, maybe?  

Dirty Sexy Love Triangle Number 2:
Leticia Darling goes for a drunken drive one morning and hits a cyclist with her coup.  Luckily Wren, our girl cyclist, was wearing a helmet so she’s only slightly concussed.  Until she recovers fully, Wren gets to stay with the Darlings.  She catches patriarch Tripp’s eye and ends up kissing Nick George on the balcony.  What?!?  Wren, we know you’ve recently experienced a trauma but after witnessing a crazy Nick-George-love-fueled fistfight in the foyer; you really want to stick your tongue down his throat?

The only person who seemed less crazy this episode was Lucy Liu.  Apparently her character, Nola Lyons, isn’t truly a heartless power-hungry lady-shark.  She wants to stop exploiting the Darlings, but Simon Elder has her little brother locked away somewhere, and is blackmailing her with her little bro’s whereabouts.

Which brings us to Simon Elder.  Blair Underwood was officially named one of People’s Sexiest Men Alive this week.  That calls for a little gratuitous Blair, don’t you think?


Dirty Sexy Blair.  Loves it.

Next week, the prodigal twin Darling returns.  That’s right, Dirty Sexy Samaire Armstrong is back.


Previously:

Dirty Sexy Samaire Armstrong
“Dirty Sexy Money” Lucy Liu Goes Down


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

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Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married with roommate and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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