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The Remote Island

The FCC Is Investigating Tucson's Super Bowl Porn

Posted by Jake Kalish

 

The Federal Communications Commission will look into how 30 seconds of porn star Evan Stone whipping out his thunderstick wound up on the televisions of Tucson Comcast subscribers during the Super Bowl. In order to come to a decision, FCC agents will have to watch the clip over and over. In private. With lube.

Maybe it's the same impulse that makes us want to say homophobes are secretly homosexual, but don't these FCC cats seem pretty pervy? Otherwise, why would they have to do large-scale investigations into nipples and penises? Seriously. Some dude at Comcast thought this would be funny. If they know who it is, he's been fired. Unless he had a really fantastic explanation. What's to investigate? Here's what Dan Isett of the Parents Television Council has to say:

This is a case of someone deliberately putting obscenity on a cable network, and because it aired over a cable station, the FCC doesn't have jurisdiction. They can only fine broadcasters for material like that. However, there are some that think this may be cause for an obscenity prosecution which is different from broadcast indecency which would require bringing in the Justice Department. 

Yeah, bring in the Justice Department, for this major injustice. Meanwhile, Senator Sam Brownback of Kansas, who finished something like sixteenth in the race for the Republican Presidential nomination, is calling for a government probe. Great idea, not like there are any more pressing matters for the government to attend to. 

Although, if a government probe also requires lubing up, we're all for it. 

PREVIOUSLY:

Tucson Viewers Get Money For Watching Porn

Tucson Gets An XXXtra Halftime Show - Porn (NSFW Video)

 

 


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About Jake Kalish

Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights https://www.amazon.com/Santa-vs-Satan-Compendium-Imaginary/dp/0307406709/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1208807460&sr=8-1

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Bryan Christian has worked as a writer for Epicurious, GenArt and ID magazine; a web producer for WWD and Condé Nast; and a cameraman for his friends. He's married with roommate and lives in Clinton Hill, Brooklyn.

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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