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Kenley Of "Project Runway" Attacks Her Sleeping Ex With An Animal, Is In Jail [UPDATE]

Posted by Jake Kalish

Wow. This is amazing. She's even more of a batshit crazy bitch than she seemed on Runway, and that's a major accomplishment. We don't know what this guy did, but she hit him with everything in his house. Including his pet...

Kenley Collins, the Project Runway Season 5 third place finisher best known for her crappy attitude, has been charged with six crimes -- including 2nd degree assault, 3rd degree assault and criminal possession of a weapon in the 4th degree - after being arrested in a Brooklyn apartment for attacking her sleeping ex-fiance with water, apples, a laptop, and...a cat.

She threw a cat at him. And then she reportedly said "You're lucky...it could have been a lot worse."

How, exactly? What, short of surprise castration, is worse than your former lover flinging an animal at you during your sleepytime? We also love that she talked shit after throwing the cat, like words are going to have any effect after that traumatic episode.

Also, wtf did the kitty do to deserve being thrown? We're almost positive the cat didn't cheat on Kenley, so it would have been nice of her to stick with inanimate objects for her insane assault. Although we're sure Michael Kors appreciates the creativity.

UPDATE: Okay, this is apparently how the beatdown went: Kenley wakes the ex-fiance, 28-year-old Zachary Penley, up in the apartment they still share by throwing a cat in his face. He tries to crawl away and use his blanket as a shield. At which point she SHUTS THE BEDROOM DOOR ON HIS HEAD. Then she grabs his laptop and flings it at him. And ends with the apples and water. Which is really a fizzle, like closing your collection with a flowered sundress. Seen that before, Kenley. And now the comments are coming out:

Kenley: It was a miscommunication. Fights happen, and that's that.

Kenley's dad, Kenneth Collins: She broke it off and I guess he was a little bitter, so when this happened he called the police. He called my wife and said he was sorry the cops took it so far. He said he was sorry, but she's still facing felony charges for tossing apples and water. It would be laughable, if she wasn't dragged through court. ...She has a personality and sometimes it gets a little rowdy - but it was still apples and water, and a cat.

Way to take responsibility, Collins family. First off, How is throwing a cat at someone a "miscommunication"? And no, cat flinging does not just "happen." We've been in some bad breakups. No pets got thrown. Okay, also: she broke it off? What the hell would she have done if he called off the engagement? Pummeled him with a potbellied pig? No, Papa Kenley, your daughter is not the victim here, sorry. And just because she chose her weapons poorly doesn't mean they weren't weapons. (Although slamming his head in a door was a solid, standard assault choice. We've seen that in plenty of movies.) And no, your daughter does not just have "a personality." She clearly has psychotic tendencies. And now she has a big-ass problem.  

 

PREVIOUSLY:

Can Isaac Mizrahi And Kelly Rowland Make It Work On "The Fashion Show"? 

What's Happening With "Project Runway"?

Heidi Klum Is Too Heavy?

Tim Gunn Lets It All Hang Out

 


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About Jake Kalish

Jake Kalish is the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights https://www.amazon.com/Santa-vs-Satan-Compendium-Imaginary/dp/0307406709/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1208807460&sr=8-1

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Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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