Andrew, 24

What's the best way to pick up a valedictorian?
Ask us out on a date. Most of us are introverted nerds. The closest relationship we've ever had with a member of the opposite sex is likely with a parent. Oh, and use proper grammar.

How far would you go, sexually, for a good grade?
All the way. But only for a hot teacher. I feel like that's a pretty common fantasy for all valedictorians. Actually, in some cases, that's probably how they ended up on top.

My boyfriend used to have a drinking problem and now doesn't drink a drop. I miss having wild, drunken sex with him and don't know how to replicate that without alcohol. What do you suggest?
Respect his decision. Why do you need alcohol to get wild and crazy in bed? Just go for it. I'm sure he'll approve.

What's the best reason to date a valedictorian?
Because once the crush wears off and you're left with who that person really is, we tend to be a lot more interesting, quirky, and fun.

Do you have any dealbreakers in the bedroom?
Never give "it" an emasculating nickname. And no stuffed animals in the room. It feels like they're watching/judging.

I like to be rough during sex — just like slaps across the face or scratches down my back. How do I tell my partner about this without sounding crazy?
If you feel weird about bringing it up, just go for it next time. In the heat of the moment, no one will judge you and it could end up being great. But if you guys have been together for a while and you can't have an honest, adult conversation about your sex life with your partner then you're probably in the wrong relationship.

I know it's not classy, but I have to know: what's the best way to break up with someone via text message?
The best way to break up with someone via text message is texting to say you want to see them in person to talk about something and then break up. Man (or woman) up!