Adam, 24

What's the best way to pick up a valedictorian?
Try not to be intimidated. Valedictorians are normal people just like you except much much smarter, and more successful, and they're probably thinking, "Wow, this person is nowhere near as smart as me." But just be yourself.

When speaking in front of large groups of people, what's the best way to pick up an audience member?
Dazzle them with your ability to recite facts from memory like, "Did you know that the atomic weight of cobalt is 58.9?" or, "Jonas Salk cured polio."

How far would you go, sexually, for a good grade?
First of all, how dare you! Those allegations are false and unwarranted! Mr. Sellers is a liar and possibly an alcoholic. Next question!

What's the best reason to date  a valedictorian?
We can not only tell you when you're wrong, but why you're wrong.

I really want to sleep with a prostitute because I think the idea of having sex with a prostitute is really hot. Does that make me an immoral asshole?
Immoral? Yes. Asshole? Only if you frequently wear a cardigan.

I know it's not classy, but I have to know: what's the best way to break up with someone via text message?
Why even send a text message? Won't they get the idea when they see you changed your Facebook status to "single"?