Diane, 32 

What’s the best reason to date a French person?
I think the French don't have hang-ups about "dating" the way Americans do. Things are more fluid and less ritualized. There's no, "on date number one, you should talk about this; on date number two, you can kiss; if you make it to date five, you can start talking about marriage," etc.

Why do they call it a “French Kiss”?
I honestly don't know. But let me know if you find out. They don't call it French kissing in France. 

If someone says “I love you” in a different language, does it have the same weight as “I love you” in English?
If an American Francophone told me "Je t'aime" very seriously and looked deep into my eyes, I might accept it as true. But in general, I think those words need to be spoken in the language that one is most comfortable with in order to be taken seriously.

I just found out that the girl I’ve been dating for the past six months is a stripper. She said she didn’t tell me because she didn’t want to upset me. It does! Am I an asshole if I break up with her?
No. I mean, who wants to date a stripper? Oh right, everyone. That’s big news; if she lied about that, then what else is she holding back? Big news needs to be disclosed close to the beginning of a relationship. 

The guy I'm crushing on is bi, and totally upfront about it. Is it crazy that that bothers me?
If he claims to be bi, then he's probably gay, and therefore it's not crazy that it bothers you. 

After dating this girl for over a year, I finally met her parents. Her mother is a raging alcoholic and about a hundred pounds overweight. They say girls grow up to be their mothers. Should I be worried?
Run for the hills. Seriously. Unless the girl takes after her father, which is always a possibility. 

My boyfriend bought me a Hitachi vibrator to spice up our lovemaking, and it gives me the most intense orgasms of my life. But now I can’t come when I have sex with him. How can I keep the amazing orgasms without making him feel inadequate? 
Fake it 'til you make it? He shouldn't feel bad really, especially if in the grand scheme of things, everyone ends happy. Just tell him that it's very enjoyable foreplay, and exaggerate the sounds a little. 

I think beards are sexy. But every time I kiss a lumberjack guy, it irritates the skin on my face. Is there a way to avoid this? 
I don't know of a miracle cream for this problem. Have "no facial hair month" every six months? The downside is that you might be less attracted to him; the upside is that your face will remain intact. Decisions, decisions. Love is a trade-off.