As I read Arianne Cohen’s insightful, hilarious essay about breaking up over a person’s picture-taking habits, I identified immediately. Unfortunately: I identified with the guy Arianne broke up with. (Oh, the shame!)
Though Alexy would occasionally ask me if I wanted to be in one of the pictures with him, most times he was happy to be the only one in the frame (at the end of our trip we had thirty-four pictures of him, four of me). And even when he would ask, I'd generally decline — a silent protest against his insatiable desire for more self-portraiture, which I couldn't help but find somewhat repulsive.
Ari, who I know personally and can testify is quite photogenic, struggled a bit with the idea of writing a revealing (and not altogether complimentary) essay about an ex of hers. But then she drew strength from Joan Didion:
"I think it's safe to say that pretty much all the essays on Hooksexup involve some writer soul searching, along the lines of, Holy crap, what if he/she/they sees this? It's the crux of the essay writing business. We all know that the key rule of essaying is to not write with your ex/mother/best friend in mind. You're supposed to just crank out a good damn essay. But I struggle with writing about exes, because the truth is, in all cases, I really liked them at one point, and still love some aspect of them. And am therefore reticent to slay them. Even if their photography habits are f-ing annoying. So I sat on this one for a while, not writing anything. And then I remembered all the wonderful essays I've read, like that famous Joan Didion one written from a hotel when she was trying to avoid divorcing her husband. And I write the damn essay. And then I really hope that he doesn't see it. Just all of you."
Read the essay in its entirety here.