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December 2007 - Posts

  • From the Archives: A Personal Essay by Emily DePrang

    Posted by Sarah

     

    In 2005 Ms. Emily DePrang wrote a great essay about being fired for sexual harassment for our Sex at Work issue.

    “For the next week, a little voice piped up every few seconds to remind me — you're a pervert. People who knew you were grossed out by you. People you shared cigarettes with were disturbed enough to trot downstairs and report you. However absurd their definition of sexual harassment, I had met it.”

    Emily is not the first person who comes to mind when you think of sexual harassment. But she make it through ok, and her professional career didn’t suffer for it.

    Read her essay here.


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  • From the Archives: A Personal Essay by David Shields

    Posted by Sarah

    "The Rachel Mysteries: A Trilogy" is a personal essay from 1999 by David Shields about his first love. He reads her journal and they have intense, enraptured sex.

    “In her journal, she wrote that she had never been kissed like this in her life and that she inevitably had trouble going to sleep after seeing me. She actually said she was afraid she'd go blind when I entered her. Where did she learn these lines, anyway?”

    Do you snoop? Are you glad you did?

    Read the essay here.  

     


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  • From the Archives: An Essay by Enrique Fernández

    Posted by Sarah

    Merry day after Christmas! We’re posting a story that explains why some men cat-call women on the street. It's also about desiring people of the cloth and more generally about the sexuality of a lapsed Roman Catholic. But what sticks out in our mind is this explanation of cat-calls, or piropos:

    “Theoretically, the ultimate point of the piropo is seduction, but no one actually believes that will come to pass; all enunciators of piropos are sexual agnostics. The real point of the piropo is to make the woman smile, even if only inwardly.”

    What a great explanation! We should note that “what differentiates [a piropo] from harassment is, in a word, wit. Say something inappropriate, flat, dull, clumsy, silly or — the horror! — gross, and you're a jerk, a loser, a schlemiel.” How nice, as a woman, to think of witty comments as something apart from harassment.  

    To read more about piropos and the erect nipples of a female Episcopalian priest, click here.


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  • From the Archives: Fiction by Deb Margolin

    Posted by Sarah


    This story takes place in the end of the summer, “when even the heat feels cool because it’s tired of itself.” It’s set in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, a town that “had the stillness of a rattlesnake before the strike.”

    The descriptions in this story are spot-on. The narrator hears a fight start “slowly, like a lawn-mower far away.” Sadness is “the tainted maudlin kind you feel in a playground empty of children.” Desire is “a terrifying, beautiful muscle that moved like a fish.”

    Read "Alfie and Joe" here.

     


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    Posted Dec 24 2007, 01:00 PM with no comments
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  • In Other Blogs: The Week in Review

    Posted by Sarah

     

    This week…Scanner brought us news of toilet paper wedding gowns, a Spice Girl's armpit bulge (it’s really weird) and UCLA students running in their underwear.

    Screengrab provided the Holiday Trailer Round-up, told us that in the future we’ll be drinking Brawndo, “the thirst mutilator” consumed by the morons who populate IdiocracyI’s future world, and a look at Slate’s “overlooked Christmans movies,” which includes “'R Xmas, in which a crooked undercover cop played by Ice-T interferes with a young drug-dealing couple's feverish attempt to obtain a much-desired "Party Girl" doll for their daughter's Christmas stocking.” This is indeed the Christmas spirit. 

    And the Hooksexup Video Blog picks the Top Five Artistic Sex Scenes (today they’ve got the Top Five Voyeuristic Sex Scenes!) and brings us a mixtape of video, the gift you give “when you're an impoverished student/blogger and you can't really afford to buy people Christmas presents.”

    Want more? Our blogs live here.


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  • The Hooksexup Date: Elisa’s Outtakes

    Posted by Sarah

    Insider scoop alert! We have eleven amazing outtakes from today’s Hooksexup Date with Elisa. Some smokin’ hot pics didn’t make it into the photo essay and we’ve got our mitts on ‘em. Check it out below…


    Read More...


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  • The Top Five Voyeuristic Sex Scenes

    Posted by Sarah

     

    If you haven’t checked out the Hollywood Sex Scene Database, perhaps the top five voyeuristic sex scenes will draw you over there?  The database includes video clips of these five scenes (and many more) plus write-ups that explain why we chose them. Of course, the text may not be what interests you the most…  


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  • From the Archives: More Gifts!

    Posted by Sarah

     

    We did a gift guide last year, and those ideas are still good this year! Some of them are no longer the cool in thing (Nintendo Wii), some of them will always be awesome (wireless iPod soundsystem), and some of them are even better (The Emperor’s Children is now in paperback!). Check it out here.


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  • New on Hooksexup, 12.21.2007: Film & DVD Reviews

    Posted by Sarah


    Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street: “As with every other film Burton's made in the past fifteen years — with the exception of the meek but solid Big Fish Sweeney starts off strong but outstays its welcome by half an hour.”

    Charlie Wilson’s War:“Maybe if we lived in a vacuum, and Charlie Wilson's War took place on a distant planet, we could all sit back and enjoy the fun. But in a world of very real moral urgency, a film like this, no matter how entertaining, will catch in your throat.”

    Flakes: “If you want a cute, snarky picture book put onscreen, you've got it here. If you wanted something deeper — even some representation of multifaceted life or complex love — you just end up with a soggy mess.”

    Senator Obama Goes to Africa (DVD): “Senator Obama Goes to Africa is more political propaganda than international-awareness builder ("As seen on Oprah!" cheers the DVD case), but that doesn't mean it's not a good film.”

     


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  • New on Hooksexup, 12.21.2007: The Hooksexup Date; drinking wine with Elisa

    Posted by Sarah

    Today’s Hooksexup Date is super hot. Maya Barkai took Elisa out and things got sexy when they got back to Maya’s house.


    Click here to see the whole date.


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  • In Other (Photo) Blogs: Interns in Bikinis

    Posted by Sarah

    Autumn shows us reasons why she loves working for one magazine in particular:
    The meetings happen sitting on the floor, they don’t mind if we all drink beer at lunchtime, they let me run around on various attractive beaches after various attractive girls, and if all that wasn’t enough by itself they have a wicked hot staff of interns. Seriously, these interns might just kick Brandon’s intern’s butt…and wouldn’t that be nice to see? See the hot interns enjoying bikinis, piggy back rides, and each other.

    Siege shows us the dark side of parties (and himself), and the light and lovely sides of girls…well, more like fabulously sexy women. You’ll see how they connect here.

    • Have you ever wondered what it would be like to attend a Chase photo shoot? Chase gives us fabulous video footage here; can you spot the hummingbird?

    Brandon hasn’t posted since our last Insider update, but we haven’t yet mentioned the cock in blackface. It looks little like Wilson the volleyball from Castaway.

    Rose + Olive play with words, and each other, showing off their best assets, and the bite marks on them. Also, see what beautiful things happen when adventurous flight attendants and tequila meet. If only we could be there...

     — Nicole Ankowski


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  • We're listening to. . . Kate Nash

    Posted by Sarah

    We cannot stop listening to this song “Foundations” by Kate Nash. It’s a bright and bouncy-but-with-a dark-side pop-song about a girl who is fighting with her boyfriend. At her best, Kate Nash creates songs that the perfect mix of sugary and tough, upbeat and sad. She’s also funny; my favorite line from this song is “You said I must eat so many lemons, cause I am so bitter / I said I’d rather be with your friends, mate, cause they are much fitter.” She pronounces it “bittaah” and “fittaah,” with a delightful London accent. (That’s where she’s from.) The video for foundations is below.

     

    Visit her official site here.

    Visit her MySpace page here


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  • From the Archives: Gangbang Fantasies

    Posted by Sarah

    This essay is about gangbang fantasies. Jack Murnighan worked at Hooksexup back in the day and in May of 1999 and gangbangs insinuated themselves into his brain. In his own words, “this confluence of events has left me thinking a lot about gangbangs, getting aroused, and finding that I am decidedly uncomfortable about the reasons behind my arousal.”

    Who among us has not had a fantasy that, when examined post-climax (or pre, in the author's case), feels off, like we debased ourselves by allowing this thought to take control of our body and mind and, moreover, enjoying it? Surprisingly, the essay didn’t get any feedback. No one was outraged, no one admitted indulging in their own gangbang thoughts.

    Read it here and see what you think.


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    Posted Dec 20 2007, 01:00 PM with no comments
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  • Gift Ideas from Scanner

    Posted by Sarah

     

    Got some last minute gifts to buy? This blogger sure does! Scanner has some great gift ideas for you. What’s on the list, you ask? Here’s a sampling:

    db clay wallets: “Like little pieces of art that can be carried in a back pocket everyday."

     

     


    Sony HDR-SR45C: “For $219 off, you get the camcorder, a case, a battery, and a remote control tripod. The whole bundle will cost you $1,300.” Fancy!

     

     

     

    Stemless wineglasses: “They're cool looking and they remove all the anxiety of where you're supposed to put your hand...at least when it comes to the wine.”

     

     

     

    More ideas here.

     


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  • New on Hooksexup: 12.20.2007: Dating Advice from . . . The Holiday Market

    Posted by Sarah

     

    Happy Holidays! Today we get dating advice from the holiday market. Insider Scoop Alert! It’s the holiday market at Union Square, NYC. 

    Antonia Daly, 41 gives some great advice for people in relationships: “When you're in a relationship, you have to give yourself the freedom to realize that there are a lot of other people out there who might be compatible with you. It can be energizing, and make you feel more sensuous.”

    Load up on all the advice on here.


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  • In Other Blogs: Gifts We Want

    Posted by Sarah

     

    [Image via cheap-chic-weddings.com]

    In Other Blogs:

     Scanner knows what we want for Christmas: Flight of the Conchords DVDs; a wedding gown made out of toilet paper (easy to rip off, and recyclable the next morning); Heath Ledger ripping it off (choreographed dancing optional), and a levitating scooter we can ride! Hell’s yeah.

    Of course, Scanner also reminds us to count our blessings that we don’t have: John Edwards’ love child; Lynne Spears as our mother; or Scanner Emily’s neighbors. Though, we do like to hear stories about them; God bless those thin Greenpoint walls!

    Him: “I did your dishes.”
    Her: “They're not my dishes; they're our dishes. But I'll take care of my spoon issues.”
    Later that night (rather, two or three minutes later)...
    Her: “I suck your dick. What more do you want from me?”
    Him: “I lick your pussy and you don't even like it.”

     Screengrab proves that life imitates art: Fans of Mike Judge's Idiocracy will recall Brawndo, the thirst-mutilating energy drink that had replaced water in the film’s terrifying and idiot-overrun vision of the future. Well, if the marketing geniuses behind this thing have their way, you too will be able to mutilate your thirst. Just don’t water the crops with it, yo.

    Also, check out the Holiday Trailer Round-up, Jerry Bruckheimer’s latest video game venture; and how the MPAA is protecting America.

      And the Hooksexup Video Blog ruminates on father, sons and Superman…plus, a mix-tape (video) masterpiece just for you.

          Nicole Ankowski

     


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  • New on Hooksexup, 12.19.2007: The Top 20 Viral Videos of 2007

    Posted by Sarah

    Also new today is our list of the top 20 viral videos from 2007. There are some great ones in there – Chris Crocker’s infamous defense of Britney Spears, an amazing battle between Buffalos and Lions, a supermodel playing with her breasts. Click here to see the list. Can you guess which is number 1?

     


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    Posted Dec 19 2007, 05:33 PM with no comments
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  • New on Hooksexup, 12.19.2007: Sex and Dating Advice from Miss Information

    Posted by Sarah


    Today Miss Information counsels “Worried Mind,” who is nervous that his cock appears small next to the well-hung dude he and his girlfriend threesomed with, and “The Derrida of Dating,” who overanalyzes his dates every IM, email and MySpace message.

    Key Advice: “When it comes to choosing a threesome partner, dick size is rarely the threat. Much better to have a fella with a twelve-inch schlong who respects boundaries and limits than a three-incher who's trying to schedule dates with your wife on your side.”

    Further words of wisdom here.


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  • In Other (Photo) Blogs: Bloggers use their words

    Posted by Sarah

     

    A picture may be worth a thousand words, but our photobloggers dig the written word, too. Here’s a delicious collection of what’s going on their varied, wild worlds...in their own words. 

    Siege is “feeling ranty” today. So ranty, he made a list:

    6. Ellen von Unwerth. Models-turned-photographers = snore. Squirting your schoolyard estrogen on Helmut Newton's style is not enough, even with a really cool eurotrash name.

    7. Dreadlock hair extensions, especially of the multi-color variety. Often combined with "futuristic" black platform boots, goggles, and short plaid skirts. Stop it. We need to change the name of your festival to Boringman. I loved 1992 as much as the next guy. I subscribed to Mondo2000. But the future came and went and all we got was George Bush and iPhones. Move on.
     

    Autumn’s traveling the world. Meet her latest bunkmates:Those poor Belgians. We put them through so much. This is George and a suspecting Oliver and Jo, in the hotel in a city that has three streets (none of them paved). You wouldn’t get any sleep either, would you? 

    Chase looks for meaning:At this single moment in time I only believe in two things: Dinosaur Jr. and the fact that there should be at least two more glasses of wine in every bottle. 

    Rose + Olive break the rules:His only rule is that we stay out of his front yard naked, his driveway naked, his computer room naked (?) and his doorway naked. Oops. 

    • And Brandon talks tattoos:The tattoo on my stomach says “strength.” It’s something about a tiger and a dragon getting in a fight, to be totally precise, but the meaning is “strength.” For all I know it could actually say “I like to touch little boys.” I got it when I was 16. Nuff said. 

    See tattoos, Belgians, rule-breakers and more, right here.   — Nicole Ankowski

     


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  • From the Archives: "Separation Anxiety," fiction by Tom Lombardi

    Posted by Sarah

     

    After “Cock in a Box” today’s archive piece couldn’t be anything else but this “Separation Anxiety” by Tom Lombardi. The story has a similar premise: an ex delivers an intimate body part to their former lover. Mary Kann’s piece is entirely plausible; Tom Lombardi’s is surreal.

    I got out of bed and hurried into the kitchen to greet her, only to spot her vagina lying there on the linoleum, its labia glistening atop the white napkin on which she'd placed it."

    See what I mean? Read the full story here.


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  • The Winter Fiction Issue: “Cock in a Box,” by Mary Kann

    Posted by Sarah

     

    The second story in our Winter Fiction issue is “Cock in a Box,” by Mary Kann. It made me laugh out loud, but it’s not all silly fun about disembodied cock replicas. It’s also about remembering someone you were in love with and how sexuality can be connected specifically with one person, even one part of a person. What is it about cocks, anyway? Why are they so fascinating?

    “She had an odd thought — what did Jeremy's cock think of this new woman? Perhaps they'd had a rift, the cock and Jeremy. Perhaps the cock wasn't as happy as Jeremy had pretended to be during that last phone call.”

    Read the full story here.

     


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  • In Other Blogs: Maggie Gyllenhaal vs Katie Holmes

    Posted by Sarah

     Travel the circle of life with Scanner, sans any singing lions. The Scanner crew bring you the latest in sperm (ooh, science!) and birth (Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton celebrate the birth of their daughter, we can only imagine the Goth wonderland of the nursery), to marriage (Pam Anderson) and divorce (Pam Anderson), to passings (goodbye Dan Folgerberg: “Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens/ I've been in love with you.”)

    Plus: Jessica Simpson may go nude to “save” her “acting career.” Tim McGraw may star in a movie with Jon Favreau. Mitt Romney gets a horse-face mask; his wife gets excited. The Spice Girls get armpit bulge. And a 22-year-old Canadian man gets an $83,000 cell phone bill after connecting his phone to his computer to use as a modem. We can only hope he also got some sweet-ass porn.

     Screengrab is in lurve with the new Batman Dark Knight trailer. We have to admit, Heath Ledger is looking pretty bad-ass. And our holy shit moment: Maggie Gyllenhaal is the love interest. She beats Katie Holmes, any day.

    Also: Oliver Stone pisses off Iran. Phil Nugent takes a look at Slate’s “overlooked Christmas movies,” including Yogi's First Christmas ("A surprisingly touching ode to ursine innocence"), as well as Stalin’s love/hate affair with John Wayne. Though I think him sending the KGB to California to assassinate him veers firmly into the “hate” side of things…

      And Oliver over at the Hooksexup Video Blog learns that the Bible is weirder than animated viral video…and throws in his two, super-excited cents for the new Batman trailer. As well as Google and its spell-check function. Go “Gyllenhaal” go.

          Nicole Ankowski

     


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  • New on Hooksexup, 12.17.2007: Horoscopes

    Posted by Sarah

     
    It wouldn’t be Monday without horoscopes. Communication is on the up-and-up this week. Scorpios and Pisces will have the best luck using their words; Cancers will have the most luck in love. Read your horoscope here.


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    Posted Dec 17 2007, 02:00 PM with no comments
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  • From the Archives: "Burning Desire," a personal essay by Simone Sidwell

    Posted by Sarah

     
    Obsessed with cigarettes? Whether you’re trying to quit, unabashedly love ‘em or indulge an occasional craving, we bet your experience with cigarettes has never reached the intensity of this personal essay by Simone Sidwell, originally published in 2000. Or maybe it has? Read on to find out.

    "’Will you burn me with your cigarette?’ 

    He asked with such unabashed and sudden urgency that I found myself pushing my cigarette into the hand coming towards me — it was as if he had startled me into an instinctive response.”

    Read the essay here.


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  • New on Hooksexup, 12.17.2007: The Winter Fiction Issue, edited by Steve Almond

    Posted by Sarah

    Steve Almond is the guest editor of our winter fiction issue. In his intro he bemoans the lack of sex in contemporary fiction. Thus, he promises, “As guest editor, I’ve endeavored to keep the smut quotient high.”

    First up, "Couplings" by Robert Olen Butler

    .
    Pulitzer Prize-winning author Robert Olen Butler’s forthcoming book, Intercourse, is 100 short stories that imagine the thoughts of 50 famous couples while they were having sex. We’ve posted three, including Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn.

    Anne: “A bejeweled codpiece falls and from a slash in a pair of breeches comes a too-small prick attached to a fat and distracted man and if its fluids do not blend with mine such to create a boy, I will sure be cast aside.”

    Read the entire story here.


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  • In Other Blogs: Political Finger Puppets!

    Posted by Sarah

     
     Sure, Scanner’s bringing us the fabulous Holiday Gift Guide (hand-crocheted finger puppets of Hillary and Obama make perfect stocking stuffers), but they’ve got so many other gifts for you…

    Check out the holiday guide to snogging at office parties; Scanner Emily’s advice for snogging to Led Zeppelin; UCLA students run through the night in their undies; and Britney’s new video will be premiere on…20/20? In other hard news, Scanner Emily reminds us that earlier this week Congress passed a resolution "recognizing the importance of Christmas and the Christian faith."

    As Emily says, “While we realize both are important and we do love Christmas for all its Pagan glory, Congress is making it very hard for us to get into the spirit with all this Jesus talk.” What the hell ever happened to separation of church and state? Oh well, if we concentrate on the war on Christmas, maybe it’ll make that nasty Iraq war fade into the background…

     Screengrab brings us word that Die Hard director John McTiernan might direct a new Conan. John Singleton will direct the A-Team movie.  And The Writers' Guild strike has now killed forty-seven of the fifty-two active scripted TV shows, according to Variety. Just give 'em the money!

      And the Hooksexup Video Blog dives into the Hollywood Sex Scene Database to find the “Top Five Artistic Sex Scenes.” Does A Clockwork Orange turn you on more than Wild at Heart? Or does Helena Bonham Carter kick the most (sexy) ass in Fight Club? Watch all five right here. You might find some artistic inspiration…

          Nicole Ankowski


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  • New on Hooksexup, 12.14.2007: "Power Couple"

    Posted by Sarah

     

    Holy moly. Today’s photo gallery is one of our hottest, and most graphic in recent memory. Here’s sneak peek of what you can expect. We couldn’t post most of it here – it’s very un-PG-13

    Read More...


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  • SSDB: The Top Five Artistic Sex Scenes

    Posted by Sarah

    New on the Hollywood Sex Scene Database, the top five artistic sex scenes. Number three includes Julie Delpy, one of the most beguiling actresses around (if you ask me). This list includes video because we’re a full-service operation here at Hooksexup. We’re don’t just tantalize you with descriptions and make you search the internets on your own. Click on through to see the actual artistic sex scenes, and while you’re there check out the rest of the database.

     


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  • From the Archives: Hangovers

    Posted by Sarah

    So. Yesterday was our annual holiday lunch. We had a champagne toast at 1:45 pm because Material Media had a great year, and then we had more champagne, and wine, and after-lunch drinks. And then we came back to the office and worked! Although some of us left early. And this one continued to consume at dinner, and after dinner at a show.

    In light of all this, today’s archived pieces explore the wonders of the hangover. (Although to be honest, this writer isn’t hung-over, per se, just a little dried out.)

    On January 1, 2001, Jack Murnighan excerpted a bit of Bukowski, proclaiming “his life was sordid, but in the most redeeming and beautiful sense of the word.”  Bukowski himself writes:

    “I'm just sitting in a room on N. Kingsley Dr., out of the hospital with hemorrhages, stomach and ass, my blood all over the county general hospital, and they telling me after nine pints of blood and nine pints of glucose, "one more drink and you're dead."

    And in 1999 Louise Redd brought us a story called “Hangover Soup.”

    I read that night's letter over and over, and I told myself that even though Jay loved me more than some women are ever loved, he still loved alcohol more. If alcohol were a woman, Jay wouldn't be able to keep his hands off her.”


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  • New on Hooksexup, 12.14.2007: Film Reviews

    Posted by Sarah


    I Am Legend: “In a movie devastating in its moments of quiet realism, it's too bad the antagonists look like cartoons. Put them aside, and you should enjoy the haunted Manhattan of I Am Legend.”

    Youth Without Youth: “Abandon hope, all ye who enter this picture seeking narrative coherence. But if you're in the mood for a visually stunning, batshit-loco jaunt into Eastern European mysticism, you could do considerably worse.”

    The Kite Runner: “The [film] may not feel staggeringly original, but it's hard not to be moved by Hosseini's epic, devastating tale of ruined friendships and a destroyed country.”

    Look: “Generally, one feels less a sympathy for the spied-upon than a sense that these people should be watched carefully at all times. This actually makes for a pretty entertaining hundred minutes, but as far as thematic resonance, it's a bust”

     


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About the Blogger

The Insider is your guide to the best of Hooksexup. Here you'll find the inside scoop on the latest features, photography, interviews and video, direct from Hooksexup editors. (Plus a glimpse at what goes on when the lights go out...Hooksexup events and parties, and more!)