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November 2007 - Posts

  • In Other Blogs: The Hooksexup Video Blog Wears Gold Spandex

    Posted by Sarah

     

     Scanner brings us the bizarre, the beautiful, and the Chuck Norris. Starting with the bizarre, we’ve got the latest in Britney Spears propaganda (she wants you to make her next video!); “The Bizarre, Obscene, and Disturbing Hidden Images in Leonardo da Vinci’s Sacred Art” as well as the incredibly long headlines in Italian newspapers; and the real reason R. Kelly’s publicist quit. No, not because he dates teenage girls. Because he was dating her teenage girl.

    Onto the beautiful…Funny or Die imagines a world where the Writer’s Strike forces  actual actors to perform scenes from reality TV. See a scene from The Hills, James Franco- and Mila Kunis-style. And somewhere between bizarre and beautiful: Kansas State’s Bill Walker takes a piss in a towel, mid-game. All the world’s his urinal…

    And the truth about Chuck Norris is revealed. A sample: Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever. But he has done things to cobras and vaginas we mere mortals can only dream about…

      In honor of director Julian Schnabel, who's caused quite a stir in France with his latest, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Screengrab decides to take five…as in, the top five films that deal with the betrayal of the body as a theme. Can the human form become a cage for the soul? You know, just a nice light thought to start out the weekend. 

    If you can’t handle that, I’m afraid to tell you about the YouTube Fight Club, and that Edward Norton is trying (again) for comedy; he’ll be directing himself, playing twins who get in trouble with “murderous potheads.” Yep, funny!

      And the Hooksexup Video Blog celebrates the return of Futurama, as well as large lady rappers who like gold spandex jumpers and the DQ. “How We Go Out” is the perfect jam for Friday night pre-parties; I bet even murderous potheads will like it, too. And this is how we go out…

    — Nicole Ankowski


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  • Readers Respond: Checking in with the Feedbackers

    Posted by Sarah


    There have been a lot of comments about James Stegall’s essay “Personal Inventory.”

    “I never would have thought that I would read a good article about Land's End catalogs. It was like a combination between Updike and Bukowski. Beautifully insightful with subtle dark humor. Nicely done.”
    --HW


    Readers are also responding to Lisa Carver’s essay about dating a rich man, “Strange Currencies.”

    “That was funny and engaging, but most importantly it descirbed my experiences with love in such vivid detail and simplicity that I can't believe no one has said it to me before: all of a sudden it ends and you find yourself neither what you were before or during the relationship. Well put. “
    --hlj

    “I really like how it's not solid--like, there's no definitive moral, yet it just makes you ponder.” --ZZ


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  • New on Hooksexup, 11.30.2007: Photo Galleries by Electrocuted Girl and Federico Erra

    Posted by Sarah

         

    Today we have galleries for both female and male appreciators. Electrocuted Girl’s “Room With a View” “shows a wildcat of a woman connected at once to both the material world and the backwoods of untamed nature.”  Federico Erra’s “After Sunrise” are self-portraits that allow “viewers the delicious feeling of being accidental onlookers, peering in at a scene that the subject could care less about them seeing.”

     


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  • From the Archives: "Sexual Outlet" by Kim Sevcik

    Posted by Sarah

    In “Sexual Outlet,” Kim Sevcik works in Larry Flynt’s Hustler Hollywood sex shop for a day. She discovers that her private kinks aren’t so uncommon, and that parents and porn stores aren’t mutually exclusive.

    “As the store's toy buyer, Doug is an inveterate sexual trend-spotter. ‘Anal sex is very in,’ he confided to me in an insider tone. ‘Everyone's doing it. You see a woman wheeling three kids around in her grocery cart, and you can bet that later, she's in here buying anal lube.’”


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  • New on Hooksexup, 11.30.2007: An Essay about filmmaker Pier Paolo Pasolini

    Posted by Sarah

     
    In this essay Bilge Ebiri writes about Pier Paolo Pasolini, a gay Marxist filmmaker whose work from the 1960s remains controversial and shocking today.

    “What is perhaps most remarkable about these films is that while Pasolini certainly grew and changed as an artist, his voice and sensibility remained unmistakably consistent: the director who made one of the Vatican's favorite movies was the same one whose final film is still banned in numerous countries.”


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  • New on Hooksexup, 11.30.2007: Film Reviews and a Q&A with Tamara Jenkins

    Posted by Sarah

    Today’s film reviews…

    The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: “Nobody with an ounce of empathy could fail to be moved by the true story of this volume's painstaking creation. Still, it's the real-life story, not the artistry involved in its telling, that does all the heavy lifting here.”

    The Savages: Tamara Jenkins who directed “the ticklish comedy Slums of Beverly Hills, came out nine long years ago — has finally made another movie. Her touch is equally assured here, in a very different context, and it's no crime (he damned with faint praise) if the result is solid rather than exciting, expertly covering all the expected restrained-indie bases.”

    Chronicle of an Escape: “The film belongs to that large, undistinguished subset of historical dramas that achieve little more than informing viewers that the events onscreen did in fact take place."

    Also new in the film lounge, we have an interview with the Tamara Jenkins, director of The Savages.


    “I definitely wasn't interested in a sentimental portrait or a sanctimonious portrait or a maudlin portrait. It was really important to be blunt and honest about it, but I think inherent in that is this sort of humor that courses through the movie simultaneous with the tragedy.”


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  • New on Hooksexup, 11.29.2007: “Erotic Dreams About Film Critics,” fiction by Sarah Hepola

    Posted by Sarah

    Sarah Hepola has a hilarious piece of fiction up today, “Erotic Dreams About Film Critics.”

    “Tony turns me around, pushes me to the floor. ‘You saw Sweet Home Alabama, and you liked it!’ he barks at me. His cock is hard, and I take it in my mouth, let my tongue roam around the tip. ‘You own Crossroads, that shitty Britney Spears movie, on DVD, don't you?’ he asks.”

    Nothing more to say, just read it right away.


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  • In Other (Photo) Blogs: Dollface

    Posted by Sarah

    Siege slips us a quick shot of his wood, but not the type that conjures that image of the bad boy you dated back in college who crotch-flashed you in the Macy’s Suits department.

    Autumn introduces us to her travel companion, as they head off into the wild. With company like this who needs civilization? They’re not completely cut off, though. Here, she treats us to a sort-of-behind-the-scenes series of photos starring…the makeup artist. Is today’s sexy makeup artist yesterday’s sexy pool cleaner?

    • We’ve missed Brandon so much (six empty days makes us antsy; that’s what love is), and now he’s back with a special treat. The image he previously posted for that group show in Paris has finally been rendered 3D! Anyone have a pair of those trippy glasses?

    Chase is rocking our world with this picture. He’s described his most recent take on self-exploration…down there…as ”sex education the easy way.” The quasi-creepy retro-doll embellishment in the piece adds an especially intriguing dimension to the photo, as well as to the phrase “inner child.”

    Rose + Olive juxtapose their gorgeous prose with this gorgeous photograph that embodies the surrender inherent in desire. And because they’re feeling especially snap-happy today, we get to meet this dangerously beautiful lady, and also Addie, who is all sorts of bright and lovely in that vivid red dress of hers.

    — Steph Auteri


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  • From the Archives: “Third Party,” fiction by Jay McInerney

    Posted by Sarah

    This story is about a guy who’s just broken up with his girlfriend. He goes to Paris to forget about her and to recast himself as the romantic figure he wants to be. He’s someone who takes his identity from the way he imagines other people see him. You never do know what other people think of you, though, and some of the worst misunderstandings come when you try to project one thing but people are perceive something different.

    “They drank the bottle of champagne and ordered another. Alex was happy for the company. Moreover, he couldn't help liking himself as whoever they imagined him to be. The idea that they had mistaken him for someone else was tremendously liberating.”


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  • New on Hooksexup, 11.29.2007: Sex Advice From… America’s Most Smartest Model Stars

    Posted by Sarah

     

     

    This week’s sex advice comes from contestants on America’s Most Smartest Model.

    "The guy I'm crushing on prefers the Mandy Lynn type, and I'm a flat-chested brunette. How can I win him over?
    Put on some lip plumper, put highlights in your hair, get breast implants. That's how I look.

    Get breast implants?
    It's not a big deal. Everyone's got their boobs done. I've only had them done once. People act like I'm a plastic-surgery nut, but I'm so not. I can't afford it. I've had my boobs done, my lips injected and that's all. Only once — not like Pam Anderson."

     

     


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  • In Other Blogs: Puppet Sing-Alongs and Christina Aguilera Naked

    Posted by Sarah

     
    •  Scanner starts our day with a bang by reporting on Norman Mailer’s posthumous victory in the challenge for the Bad Sex in Literature Award. It was this literary luminary who once described the flaccid man-sword (is that any better?) as a “coil of excrement.” The day only got better from there: we learned that cheap garments being provided to our armed forces were suffering from “crotch durability problems,” and that dolphins now come in hot pink. (Think of all the enviro-lover T-shirt possibilities!) Christina Aguilera left us somewhat disturbed by her nude appearance on the cover of Marie Claire, but what disturbed us the most was the possibility that our hair bands may have been made from used condoms. Is it tomorrow yet?

    •  Screengrab escapes into the sweet safety of the past, fondly reminiscing about the many faces of character actor Wallace Shawn. The Village Voice speculates about I’m Not There’s place in the Bob Dylan revival and Julian Schnabel makes a “comeback.” Also: Puppets have a sing-along.

    • Finally, the Hooksexup Video Blog ensures that we’ll all suffer nightmares tonight by bringing us the absurd lunacy of talking yellow telephones delivering empty promises. (Don’t ask me; just check it out.)

    — Steph Auteri


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  • The Hooksexup Sports Blog

    Posted by Sarah

    The Insider would like to give a special shout-out to the Hooksexup Video Blog which, for a time, was converted into the Hooksexup Sports Blog via the Hooksexup NBA Preview. Oliver Miller wrote a six-part post that you can see here: the Atlantic division, the central division, the southeast division the northwest division, the Pacific Division and the southwest division.

    Here are some of his predictions:

    New Jersey Nets: New Jersey has Jason Kidd as their point guard, who I dislike because he blows a kiss to his wife every time that he shoots a free-throw. That's creepy. Prediction: 42 wins

    Indiana Pacers: Naming your team after the slowest car in a car race seems -- symbolically speaking -- like a really stupid idea. ...And in a stunning coincidence, the Indiana Pacers also happen to... suck. Prediction: 32 wins

    San Antonio Spurs: Did you have some kid in your high school who was super good-looking and on the soccer team and dating a cheerleader and got good grades and never drank and was popular and was even nice to the nerds in the hallways? That's what the Spurs are like. They're better than you, and you can't even hate them for it. Prediction: 62 wins


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  • Checking in on the Blog-a-log: Fingerless Orgasms

    Posted by Sarah

    The ladies of the Blog-a-log are going strong. Here’s what they’ve been up to...

    Charlotte_Web is confused. She had a great time with Agent Mojito this weekend but she’s still dating. Men on her radar: Liebendamen, Cuborado, Drummer Boy and Cute Boy. Mainly, though, she’s grading papers, “which makes me want to claw out my own eyes. Grading for me is like reading a scary book ... I alternate between being utterly immersed and needing to run away.

    FunkyBrownChick ponders the female orgasm and its prevalence online. “It seemed EVERY blogger was cumming online — except for me. Without a date that particular night, I had to whip out my fucking vibrator just to feel like I was still a bona fide blogger.

    CyberVixen is having trouble finding love. “I haven’t had any bad experiences, but just haven’t had that crazy date where the connection is immediate and solid and mind-blowing. I miss that connection. I want to meet a boy that makes me want to call my mom the next day and tell her all about him.”

    SJ1000 cut off her middle finger. No joke. “The truly tragic thing is that you are my reserve masturbation finger. Much like the United States Army, when my frontline troop (right middle finger) gives out, I call up the reserves. Or, rather, the reserve. Which was you, Left Middle Finger. But you have been hobbled, kind of. “
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  • From the Archives: "My Issues With Becoming a Greenberg," a personal essay by Mara Levy

    Posted by Sarah


    You may have noticed that our homepage has some messages about scotch on it. The Insider was thus inspired to search out stories that involve drinking the fabled “brown water,” so dubbed by Mara Levy in her essay, “My Issues Withy Becoming a Greenberg,” in which she discusses marrying a Jew. She’s Jewish, too, so this shouldn’t be a problem, but, as happens with so many problems that shouldn’t matter, it is.

    “Is the name Greenberg any more Jewish than Levy? The tiny logical part of my brain does, in fact, know the answer to this question: of course not. So why, then, am I so uncomfortable trying on my new last name? Honest answer: I can't shake the feeling that I'm outing myself to myself, even though, as my best friend, Meta, likes to point out, everyone already knows I'm a Jew.”

    For the curious minds out there, the essay has nothing to do with drinking scotch, except that Mara meets her husband when they both order Dewars (really) at a bar in Tel Aviv. 


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  • New on Hooksexup, 11.28.2007: Sex and Dating Advice from Miss Information

    Posted by Sarah

    It’s Wednesday, which means another dose of Miss Information. Today she serves up some excellent advice for a) a guy who wants to know how to turn down the dreaded good-email bad-picture online dating prospect b) an anal adventurer wondering about the best lube and c) the wife of a foot-fetishist whose husband is taking his longing outside the relationship.

    Just in case you don’t read the entire column (which you should), here’s one thing you should know:

    Nothing wrong with using Crisco. There are quite a few doctors who say it's okay to use in limited amounts, provided you test a small area and watch for your reaction. But I'm not sure you'd want to rub anything called "shortening" on or around an organ that's usually revered for its length.”


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  • The Hooksexup Date: Skylar, Outtakes

    Posted by Sarah
    Samantha Wolov and Skylar had fun in Skylar’s car on last week’s Hooksexup date, but, of course, we couldn’t fit all the pictures in the essay. Here are some of the extras.

    Read More...


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  • In Other (Photo) Blogs: Naked Models Will Cure What Ails You

    Posted by Sarah

     
    Siege has been busy, building a new dreampod (where we’re sure some dreamy photo shoots will take place). Lucky for us, he’s putting his models to work: when they’re not moving heavy furniture, they’re posing pretty. Nice red light district, Siege.

    Chase goes retro, and you’ll be glad he did. He spends some time trying to recreate 1983, and “the late 70s porno magazines found in bushes and the woods.” Also, check out the lovely Pony, and the senior portrait she never had. She sure as hell has one now.

    Brandon visits the City of Lights, and sets up a 3D photo installation. Once you see the outtakes, you’ll wish you could fly to Paris and see it in 3D, too.

    Rose + Olive find that after a hard night of bartending, nothing cures your aches and pains like taking a long, hot shower…especially with a pretty stranger.

    Autumn gives us an insider’s look at fashion shoots…see how she risks her ass for fashion, literally. Plus, you’ll want to meet Autumn’s new friend, Patricia:

    She’s writing a book on Brazilian Hip-Hop. Half of her vocabulary consists of dirty words. She likes to walk around bad neighborhoods and make friends with the drug lords and the heads of the evangelical Hell’s Angels. Regardless of all of that, she dresses like a Madison Avenue Princess. She wears these sort of frilly pastel dresses and kitten heels.

    Check out the tiger in kitten heels, here.

    — Nicole Ankowski


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  • We’re listening to…Celebration

    Posted by Sarah

    Celebration is a three-person band, two guys and a girl, from Baltimore. Modern Tribe is their second full-length, released in October. The trio, including a husband and wife, produces ecstatic, hard-driving noise-chimera; their music could be a soundtrack to a confusing, magical, colorful dream. The female vocalist alternately sings, wails and trills over syncopated rhythms and layers of instruments including guitar, drums and percussion, organ, Wurlitzer and Moog.

    Watch a video for “Evergreen,” the first song on Modern Tribe, below, and then check out their MySpace where you can listen to eight of the eleven songs on their album. “Heartbreak” is the most accessible, and a good place to start. (Or just start at the beginning, since the new MySpace player no longer stops at the end of a song.) Their official site is here.

     


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  • New on Hooksexup, 11.27.2007: Q&A with scent expert Rachel Herz

    Posted by Sarah

    Catrinel Bartolomeu interviews Rachel Herz, psychologist, odor-expert and author of The Scent of Desire. Herz confirms that scents are intimately tied to emotions and that judging people on how they smell is not only ok, we’re biologically programmed to do so.

    “Our body odor is the external manifestation of our immune system. The immune-system match is particularly important for women because they have a huge cost to bear in terms of the time and energy it takes to reproduce.”

    So the next time you’re looking for an excuse to stop seeing that guy you’ve been dating don't struggle with what to say. Tell him it’s nothing personal, you just don’t like the way he smells.

    Read the full article here.


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  • From the Archives: "for my swiffer wetjet," poetry by T. Cole Rachel

    Posted by Sarah

      

    The swiffer gets sexy.

    “what is not to love
    about something with such purpose, slim
    and hard, the heft of it, the glide
    of its downy underside”


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  • Personals Picks

    Posted by Sarah

    Today we bring you some Hooksexup Personals hotties. (To find them login to Hooksexup Personals, click on ‘search’ and enter their username into the username search.)

    Lacoffeegirl

    Lacoffeegirl recently got these rad new glasses, but you’ll have to check out her profile to see what she looks like without them. (Hint: she’s pretty cute.) She’s also got a sense of humor.

    The celebrity I resemble the most
    "Depends on what my hairstyle is... Clive Owen?"

     

    Tenseconddelay

    This twenty-seven-year-old Chicagoan is looking for someone who likes to see live music and travel to far off places, or just to Milwaukee. Just make sure to wear your heels! This hottie is 6’4”.

    Why you should get to know me:

    "I work in radio and in the music industry, but neither pays so I do other jobs too. As hectic as everything may be, however, I can still cook you dinner."

     

    Umweird

    A “tough yet sensitive” New Yorker, Umweird wants someone who is socially aware. She recently read Jane Austen’s entire oeuvre and plays the guitar. Maybe you’ll bump into her at the next political rally… or you could just contact her now.

     

    Five items I can't live without
    "photos of family, cdplayer/ipod, phone, guitar and wine
    of course."

     


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  • New on Hooksexup, 11.26.2007: History of Single Life, by Ken Mondschein

    Posted by Sarah

     

    Alfred Kinsey is the rock star of sexologists: his Sexual Behavior in the Human Male and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female showed the public that missionary-position baby-making is not the only way to have sex. In this piece Ken Mondschein reports that Kinsey’s own sex life and upbringing influenced his research and, which in turn helped shaped American’s views of sexuality.

    “Just as Kinsey had once sought wasp specimens in the wilds of North America, he canvassed fraternity houses, addressed community groups, traveled to prisons and, beginning in 1939, infiltrated the secret meeting-places of America's homosexual subculture — all in search of the elusive, statistically pure '100% sample' that would give a perfect cross-section of society.”


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  • In Other Blogs: Good-Bye Scanner Sarah!

    Posted by Sarah

     

     Oh how we’ll miss her: Scanner Sarah says so long, and thanks for all the lube. (She also says “Xanadu.”) The romantic journey continues for others, however, including Heidi Klum, who plays with her boobs, cougars in Kenya, who wanna get laid and the Audrey Underwear company in Taizhong City, Taiwan, which declared November 21 “Camisole Day,” and encouraged all 500 women working in the firm’s headquarters to wear only their undies to work.

    "We have been waiting for this day all month. Today, we are super high, and don't know where to put our eyes," salesman Cai Mingda told Straits News. As Scanner Bryan says: Thus did "super high" become our new favorite way to say "fully erect."

      Screengrab brings us the morning deal report: Brad Pitt flies outta Edward Norton’s coop; the director of The U.S. vs. John Lennon is working on a new documentary about Michael Hutchence of INXS; and just what you’ve been waiting for…a new movie called The 13th Disciple. It’s about…yes…Jesus’ evil twin. I feel a Halloween costume coming on…  Plus: Chuck Norris gets political, crazy.

      And the Hooksexup Video Blog brings you the secret of rock-star sexiness from rock star-turned motivational speaker Andrew W.K. Hint: Norman Mailer would approve; your mother would not. Plus, the origins of the terms “420.” Is Bob Barker in on it, or not?

    — Nicole Ankowski


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  • The Hooksexup Photo Contest: Hoodies

    Posted by Sarah

    There’s still time to enter this months amateur photo contest. You could win $500! Everyone has a hoodie, so all you have to do is take a photo of someone in said garment and snap! You’re in the running. In fact, you don’t even need another person and with a self-portrait you can give into your perfectionist tendencies and redo it as many times as you want. C’mon, what are you waiting for?

    After the jump, check out some of your competition. To see all the entries (and archives of past contests) go here.

    Read More...


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  • New on Hooksexup, 11.26.2007: Horoscopes

    Posted by Sarah

    Life is full of questions. Fortunately, the stars have the answers. Wondering about your romantic prospects? Here’s a teaser: this week Sagittarius and Gemini have extra sweet love lives filled with whipped cream and waffles. Who knew the stars were so into breakfast food? Click here to read your full horoscope.


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    Posted Nov 26 2007, 02:30 PM with 1 comment(s)
    Filed under:
  • From the Archives: A Sex Show that Feels like a Suburban Mall

    Posted by Sarah

     

    The holiday shopping season is upon us. Today is ‘Cyber Monday,’ the online equivalent of ‘Black Friday,’ when online shoppers ignore work and spend money online. But! Many of us will still spend hours at the mall this year, searching for the right gift for sisters and nieces and aunts and uncles. With that in mind today’s archive piece is “Shopping and Fucking,” a dispatch from “The Everything To Do With Sex Show,” which took place in Toronto in 2000. Don’t be fooled, though, even if it feels like a mall, a sex show is probably not the place to shop for your family.

    “Everything is mall-bright, mall-cheerful, and there is always music in the air. It's terrifically welcoming and utterly neutral all at the same time…The Everything To Do With Sex Show is a tribute to the redemptive power of shopping, and it has made of the Automotive Building a temporary version of the mall, that cathedral of consumption.”

    Read the whole piece here.

     


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  • The Hooksexup Date: Skylar

    Posted by Sarah

    Friday saw another Hooksexup Date, this time with Skylar. Samantha and Skylar meet in a park, eat strawberries and get naughty and naked on the zebra print in Skylar’s car.

    Check out Skylar's Hooksexup Personals profile, skywithdiamonds. (Login to Hooksexup Personals, click on advanced search enter “skywithdiamonds” into the username search field in the upper left-hand corner.)


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  • Playing Catch-Up: Film Reviews and a Q&A with Lili Taylor

    Posted by Sarah

    Welcome back! The Hooksexup offices were closed Thursday and Friday however we often publish on days we’re not in the office so there’s lots to catch up on from Friday. We’ll start with film.

    Fridays we publish film and DVD reviews as well as interviews. This week we had reviews of…

    I’m Not There: “When I'm Not There is good, it's very, very good, and when it's bad, it's merely annoying.”

    Hitman: “Hitman is an insult to violent trash.”

    The Mist: "The Mist is a large-scale Twilight Zone episode. And despite some glaring missteps, it's a decent one."

    August Rush: "Even if you're not the musical type, you might suspend your disbelief long enough to be stirred."

    Feed (DVD): “Feed plays like a nostalgic political blooper reel — but not a particularly tight one.”

    We also had an interview with Lili Taylor.

    I think I get the same feeling of meaning from psychology that I get from acting. Sometimes reading a good book about psychology, about the human condition, I feel filled up with a sense of meaning. And that's what acting can do, too, to me.”

    Want more? Visit the Film Lounge for all our movie coverage.

     

     


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  • New on Hooksexup, 11.21.2007: Miss Information’s Greatest Hits

    Posted by Sarah

     

     

    Miss Info is preparing for her turkey-coma right now so today we’ve published a few of her best questions and answers:

    - A phone buddy who won’t commit

    - A bi girl in a relationship whose female friends try to kiss her

    - A guy who may or may not be being dumped by the woman he’s seeing


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  • From the Archives: “Feast,” fiction by Keith Banner

    Posted by Sarah

     

    Thanksgiving is tomorrow, so the Insider brings you this classic Hooksexup piece, “Feast,” by Keith Banner.

    “Carson imagined what cooking all the food would be like because he had never done Thanksgiving before and Brad couldn't cook and God would he miss Brad, and Brad was thinking of his sister and how his sister last week when she asked him to come over for Thanksgiving told him not to bring Carson.”

     


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About the Blogger

The Insider is your guide to the best of Hooksexup. Here you'll find the inside scoop on the latest features, photography, interviews and video, direct from Hooksexup editors. (Plus a glimpse at what goes on when the lights go out...Hooksexup events and parties, and more!)