Shennanigans + boobs in the Suburban.
How best to describe Brandonland, Brandon Herman’s Hooksexup photoblog? I mean, there’s always the one word that springs (ahem) immediately to mind: dick. Cock. Men wearing shirts with no pants. Men peeing. Men skateboarding. Men doing yoga or making out with women or punching each other in the stomach. All with no pants.
In other words, a thing of beauty.
Brandon seems to capture the lifestyle of the young, impetuous, intrepid souls…people who find adventure wherever they go. And don’t mind urinating against a wall, or each other, on the way. Do you live in Brandonland?
Here’s some of his latest blog entries (sorry for the male full-frontal editing, kids. Go see Forgetting Sarah Marshall). Enjoy his entire blog here.
Jay-Z is Evil
4/28/2008 11:29:19 PM
I was watching the O'Reilly Factor yesterday morning with my grandma and they covered this story about this kid in Florida who was arrested for making his own grandmother perform in some gangsta rap videos he made. In some of the shots she's decked out in gang-banger attire, complete with bandana, baggy jersey and bling, and in others she's wearing a ski mask, waving a gun and money, and talking about shooting cops. O'Reilly was totally horrified, and he had some pretty blonde Republican chick on the show talking about how twisted the kid was as well, but personally I found it touching that gangsta rap had been the catalyst for some generation-gap-crossing grandmother-son bonding. It kind of made me want to make a rap video with my grandma.
And on the subject of rap:
I would encourage all of you readers to boycott Jay-Z. He's evil and I'm pretty sure that he is actually just a white person in blackface working hard to perpetuate black oppression and racism. The values that he instills in black youth are the equivalent of a million white kids looking up to Donald Trump. All he raps about is consumerism and its sad that he rots people's brains with such garbage. And it makes sense that he is marrying the whitest black woman on earth.
I got a splinter yesterday at the pool party I was at but I can't seem to get it out of my foot, so I think its just going to have to be permanent. Like a tattoo.
Currently listening to: "Bleeding Brain Grow" by MC Paul Barman.
Today sucked
4/23/2008 11:23:50 PM
I've been really moody all day today. I woke up with a bad hangover and a downer attitude. I hate that. Sometimes I actually love hangovers because they slow everything down a bit and make everything seem kind of trippy. And you feel all fragile like you're made out of glass or something. As long as its not a throw-up hangover, I usually can enjoy it. But not this one. This one is a depressed, think of lots of reasons to hate myself hangover. Boo.
My younger sister is flying in tonight to visit me. She called the other day and said she hates college right now so I am flying her out for a couple days of me. What a nice brother huh? She was supposed to be here hours ago but she went all the way through security with no boarding pass, then obviously was sent back to the check-in counter, and by the time she got back through again she had missed her flight. What a dumb-dumb.
Tonight we'll drive out to the desert so that tomorrow we can go to this pool party Anthem mag is throwing for Coachella. It wouldn't be me if there wasn't a pool party involved, now would it?
Currently listening to some Nine Inch Nails song, the name of which I actually don't know.
Its Tearin Up My Heart
4/23/2008 10:45:07 PM
I've been listening to these crazy mashups all day. Like ones where they combine forty different hit songs from the 90s all into one long continuous ass-kicking stereo slam-jam. Why is it that a bunch of songs I don't like can all be amazing when melded together into one mashup masterpiece?
Some highlights from today's mashup findings:
A mashup of "Hey Ya" by Outkast and "We Will Rock You" by Queen.
A mashup of one 80's pop hit song for every letter of the alphabet, all in alphabetical order.
A mashup of early nineties club classics that kicks off with that "What Is Love" song that the Roxbury brothers bob their heads to.
Currently listening to: "Welcome Back Mix" by DJ Praise, an epic medley combining 70's action theme songs with 90's hip-hop.
Hollywood Death Tour
4/21/2008 1:24:02 AM
So this producer from the Canadian TV company CHUMTV called me a few months ago and told me that he was going to come to LA and do a special on David Lynch and a special on me, which I was totally excited about because I love being on TV. They arrived last week, and they interviewed me a bunch, and then they wanted to see me in action so on Thursday night I took them out with a bunch of friends and we toured around to houses in Hollywood where famous murders had occurred and got drunk and naked a lot and took pictures. Check it out...
So here's me answerin' some questions about what it is that I do and why I do it. The sun was in my eyes and I was drunk and couldn't concentrate, so I'm sure I'll look like a total dumbass.
And here we are at the first stop of the night, the house where the famous Wonderland murders (involving porn star John Holmes) took place. And Morgan had to pee.
Paula against the wall in the garage of the Wonderland house.
A pit stop on the side of Mulholland Drive. More pissing and stuff.
We got driven around in this big black Suburban and even though they told me it sat eight, I brought ten friends. We were all cozy like sardines. There were lots of shennanigans in the Suburban.
Me and Paula in front of the house where the Sharon Tate murders took place. I know it looks like I'm wearing a dress but its actually a trench coat over shorts.
Shennanigans on the road too.
Here's Morgan in front of the house where the Menendez brothers killed their parents. The new owners have a Bentley.
Shennanigans + boobs in the Suburban.
Currently listening to: "Ringfinger" by Nine Inch Nails.
North America!
4/17/2008 8:00:00 AM
I just can't stop with the gymnastics. I think I was supposed to be an Olympic coach or something. Here's the latest contender in my gymnastics championship:
I just registered to vote yesterday. Who are you all into? I like Hilary. Don't know why. She just seems cool. Reminds me of my mom if my mom wasn't so pretty, and was a little meaner.
Currently listening to: "North American Scum" by LCD Soundsytem