I'm a bad spanker. Every time I've been with a woman who likes being spanked and the subject inevitably arises my stomach tenses up and my blood pressure drops. I'm terrible at spanking. I have absolutely no instinct for what might be pleasurable to someone in the act. When I do it, it's always tenuous and lands with a thud instead of a well-timed crack. I spank like a clod.
I've never had rough instincts. It took me years to come around to the fact that sex could be aggressive, and that it could be fantastically nice and expressive with that added coarseness. It was a learned appreciation though and even now I still don't operate that way on instinct. When it comes time for hair pulling or some athletic tussling I usually have to remind myself to do it. Not biting though. For whatever reason I'm an instinctual biter, and relish every last little nibble, pinch, and pull.
Otherwise, though, I'm a horrible peacenik. I remember the first time I was punched in the face in junior high, my immediate instinct was to take two steps back and talk things out. Some people have an instant physical trigger, but mine has always been more about dialogue than physical confrontation.
I was chatting with a friend of mine last night about what makes for a good spank, and I think I might have had a breakthrough. The first stupid thing I think I've been doing all wrong is the position. I never think to spank when I'm actually behind a woman. I always wind up doing it when I'm on bottom and the leverage is the worst. This is one of those ideas that's probably obvious to everybody else in the world, but was something I had hardly ever considered until my friend mentioned it. With a better position that offers more accommodating leverage it seems like everything else might actually fall into place.
A gradual cupping of the hand, not too severe, just enough to ensure a quick slap, in combination with a little sensitivity seems to be the way to go. I imagine the idea is to find the right balance between a smarting whack that brings a pleasurable rush of blood to all those surface capillaries, while not going too hard and delivering something blunt and painful. I'm sure it will take lots of practice, like finding the friction point on a clutch (and that's always different for every ride).
This has been my own private revelation this week. Perhaps the world will make a spanker out of me yet.
Previous Posts:
Love Machine: Infidelity or How Long Can You Go Without Cheating?
Date Night: The 45-Minute Walkout
Date Night Redux: H's Version of Our Night Out
Celebrity Confession: Who is Lauren Cohan and Why is She Hitting on Me?
Sex Machine: My First Muff Dive
Crying in Public: Remember the Cheerleaders
Sex Machine: Masturbating Upside Down
Date Night: Two Women in One Night
Date Machine: Kissing on the First Date
Hooksexup Confessions: Rate My Penis Size
Crying In Public: The Sichuan Night Train
Love machine: How I Date On The Internet
Sex Machine: Zeitgeisty's Ass Bangin'
Sex Machine: Rate My Blowjobs
Crying in Public: My Cubicle