Today is Boxing Day.
A National Holiday.
The day after Christmas.

What's it for, I hear (some of) you cry?
Dunno says me. I must've known at some point or another, but have forgotten. Something to do with servants day off from back in the day? Something to do with mothers? The modern one - the day you box up yer presents and return them to the shop. I could google it, but it's my day off. You google it.

In any case, it's a holiday. For pretty much everyone except retail staff and nurses. I cannot imagine going to work the day after Christmas - still too full of food and alcohol. It's too miserable a thought to even contemplate. I've only spent 2 Christmas's in America and both times I was expected to come in to work the next day. Except I didn't - "it's Boxing Day. I can't work on Boxing day!". "What's Boxing Day?". "Dunno, but I ain't working on it".

There's more food though, that much I do know. Cold turkey with hot bread sauce. Bubble and Squeak. Cold sausages.
All the fun of the day prior, but with less stress.
It's a cracking good holiday.

Which brings me to holidays. Or vacations as you peeps call them.

TAKE 'EM WHY DONCHA!!!!

When I first moved to LA in '94, I had to delay my job's start date by a month from the job offer because I was about to spend a month in Spain, driving down from England via France. My then almost-boss (yelling) "I am offering you a job in California and I need you next week". Me - "I am going on holiday. Hire someone else". Him - "You cannot be serious, I am offering you a job in Los Angeles", Me - hang up phone. Him, calling back - "Sorry. I did not mean to shout at you. Please would you reconsider your start date". Me - "I can't. I am going on vacation". Now, at the time, I had no idea about the condition of the nation's vacation. (Like that sentence) Nor did I know that the exchange was overheard on speaker and would became company legend. When I retold it to my English friends, everyone was like "Well, of course you can't start. You're going on yer 'ols".

Then I moved to LA, then NYC and found out about the 10 day deal. But not 10 consecutive days. No sirree. And 15 days after 15 years at my NYC job. WTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTFWTF?????

I told the peeps back home. Here's how the conversation went...
"What do you mean 10 days?"
"10 days. Like 10 days off a year"
"I don't get what you mean. 10 days off a year???? How is that possible?"
"I know. And some people get 5"
"What do you mean 5???? Do you get a lot of Bank Holidays or something?" (that's your Public Holiday)
"Nah, less than you do"
"I really don't understand what you're saying. Are you SURE?"

Now my peeps are not thick. Just incredulous.
And so they should be.

In fairness to my actual experience of vacation in America, I got to take quite a lot more. At least more out of the office time. Twice a year, at the company I worked at for 7 years, I would spend 2 weeks in Europe. Usually Italy, France and England. Sometimes Spain instead of Italy. And I took the first and least weekend too so that I spent a clear week in England with my family and friends. Plus I'd take 2 weeks consecutively in the summer - to the chagrin of my colleagues admittedly. 4 weeks in Europe, being paid to shop was, of course, fabulous. But it was still company time not my time.

And there's people who manage to amass days off. Yep, they can't think of anything to do with those 10 days, so they roll them over into the next year. That shit kills me. Or, and this is the saddest thing of all, they are so worried about being usurped by someone else at the company that they don't dare take time off. But the lack of job security is another post probably.

But you peeps need more vacation. You are too uptight without it. Although I am probably preaching to the choir. Especially since 90% of the Hooksexup population state their vocation as "writer" and we all know that that means "vacationer" or at least "stay in bedder".

These days I am freelance. And I am never going to get a "proper" job in America again. It's just too much like hard work. Does that sound lazy? I don't care. My work ethic's on its 'oliday!

It's hard to find a date with a compatible holiday ethic. There's the freelancers like me with lots of time on their hands but not enough cash to whisk me off to the Caribbean. Then there's the ones that aren't stressing over their cell phone bill, but they don't take any time off so there's no time to spend it with them.

It's very odd living in someone elses country you know...

 

He's not good looking, but he's one of my favourite actors of all time. Plus he's currently in the film we're watching on telly (Chronicles of Narnia) and he flew back to England on the same plane as us last week and I spoke to him. Ray Winstone.

 

 

Here are some I made earlier:
Merry Miserable Fabulous F*cking Christmas
Persistent, interested or just plain annoying?
Do blondes have more fun?
A nod to amboabe
The road less travelled