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Date Machine: Get more dick

Posted by airheadgenius

 

It's a day late - was busy yesterday - but this year is going to be a good one. I can feel big things coming my way. (Thanks Finbarr)

I resolve to return email to my prospective dates. Consider this a round robin to those of you waiting for a reply. Happy New Year. I will be in touch.

I resolve to go out on more dates rather than date people in my head. Dear trusty babysitter, this year will be lucrative for you.

I resolve to be less dismissive of old men that contact me. Instead of writing "fuck off yer ol git" I will instead politely direct them to www.oldpeopledating.com

I resolve to be more understanding of Amboabe's nature. Dearheart, please re-direct yourself to www.oldpeoplescrewing.com

I resolve to go on a diet so that I can legitimately tell chubby men that write to go pick on someone their own size.

I resolve to embark on money making schemes instead of just thinking of money making schemes.

I resolve to be more charitable towards physically and mentally challenged people on the internet. To that end, Happy New Year Loobetchka

I resolve to get as much dick as possible.

Finally, I resolve to spend less time on the comput....

 

 A floating naked man in Milan by Polish artist Pawel Althamer

 

Here are some I made earlier:
Wishing
Longest confession of all time
How kissable are you?
Happy Boxing Day
Merry Miserable Fabulous F*cking Christmas
Persistent, interested or just plain annoying?
Do blondes have more fun?
+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT

Comments

xcalibur86 said:

>"I resolve to get as much dick as possible."

Milady,

May it please you to know I should like to be first to render up my rig in furtherance of this most noble of endeavors.

January 2, 2009 5:52 PM

airheadgenius said:

xcalibur - form an orderly queue. Actually, you might be the only one in it, but form it anyway.

January 3, 2009 5:41 PM

hard4men said:

my name is hard4men im looking for nsa sex in snellville georgia         bob   7705951024  please give info to other men in my area

January 13, 2009 2:41 PM

CONFESSION OF THE DAY

CONFESS HERE!

ABOUT THE BLOG

DATE MACHINE explores the triumphs and tragedies of your dating confessions. Look here for commentary, dating advice, and our own salacious (or ridiculous) dating stories.

OUR BLOGGERS

FishnetsAndLight

Professional Dominatrix, lapsed English major and token black chick extraordinaire. I'm also a great big perv. Bend over.

Location:New York, New York
Looking for: Those who aren't too afraid.

Zeitgeisty

I'm an existentialist trapped in the body of a rational humanist. I've got a penchant for misanthropy and a flair for the obvious. I'm quick with a joke or a light up your smoke, but there's someplace that I'd rather be. I'm Zeitgeisty, pleased to meet me I'm sure. Visit my blog at www.walruscomix.com/zeitgeisty.

Location: Somewhere on the isle of Manhattan...
Looking for: A shining good deed in a weary world...

Airheadgenius

I am a fish out of water - an opinionated cheeky smiling English chick in a land of larger than life Americans. I don't understand the culture. I don't understand asking if we're exclusive. I don't understand this weird practice of decapitating penises. Some days I am definitely MILF material. Other days I feel more like the material on the inside of yer grannys' handbag.

Location: Brooklyn
Looking for: A stunning socialist with a propensity to pick winning lottery numbers

amboabe

I'm a smart ass writer who'll argue your ear off, hold your hand close, and tell you the truth whenever. I'm a fool and a hero, a confessional soul, and lover of life in every conceivably absurd way that it can come. I also paint my toenails.

Location: San Francisco
Looking for: A sail, not an anchor.

spjv840

Slightly neurotic, over-analyzing girl..err, woman, with too much charm for the average person to handle. Has a fondness for red wine, cheap beer and a good time.

Location: The Igloo, Canada
Looking for: Nothing mediocre

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