Believe it or not, I'm not always in the mood to have sex. But my boyfriend almost always is...
Some nights, when I'm looking particularly uninterested, he'll want to jerk off in front of me. This, in and of itself, is not a weird thing. I mean, hey, who isn't a little bit exhibitionistic? And who doesn't like being cheered on while doing anything?
No, what weirds me out is how politely he asks. It's the same voice and phrasing he might use to inquire whether we are out of milk. Granted, I don't want him to get all Porntastic on me ("Yo, black bitch, watch me yank my white cock!") but... y'know... maybe he could dirty it up a little?
So my question is: what is the perfect way to phrase a request for an audience? Remember, this should turn the other person on. (Or at least, not make them laugh.)