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Sex Machine: SEXUAL pet-peeves or You just love my DOGGY-STYLE

Posted by zeitgeisty
‘What you don’t like it from behind? You can’t see my face? Shut up and turn around, let me go about my business.’

‘Stop moving I say! Why are you squirming like a toad? Why are you squirming like the killer’s brain in the song Riders on the Storm? Yeah it’s the same thing, I was being sarcastic, now shut face and turn your head - let me get on with the pounding.’

'Yeah babe, I know you love that doggy style, doggy.. doggy style... Yeah I know right? I hate that expression too!.. DOGGY... I'm bangin' you like a little furry doggy.. DOGGY STYLE.. It's like totally infantile right?.. See how sympatico we are? I love you!!.. Now get your face back in that pillow so I can ram your ass.'

‘yes.. good…yeah… uh.. could you just be a TAD quieter.. My Aunt Shirley’s in the next room. I know.. I KNOW. I don’t want to inhibit you, but she’s just in from Tel Aviv. Ok.. better’

‘Alright babe, let’s do some side action.. yeah! Let me just get one leg up there, and.. no that leg goes there, and yeah, alright.. good.. STOP, my balls are squashed jesus… yeah good, no stop moving around like that, it’s not conducive to.. yes, ok better,,’

‘Are you reaching for my nipples? Haven’t we discussed this?’

‘Ouch! You hit me!.. Ok you like it rough, I’ll show you rough… where did we put that toilet plunger? I’m gonna hit you in the kidneys with it… ahhh not so tough now huh? Get your face over here I’ve got something for it!’

‘Yeah I know you like that huh!!.. Tasty shit huh??... '

'I’m glad you enjoyed that, I thought you’d appreciate a nice refreshing York Peppermint Patty mid-coitus, now let’s get back to banging.’

‘We’re in the home stretch now, get those legs up, yes, tote that barge lift that bail…We’re almost there!!...yes…yes….wipe off that chocolate from your face, it looks like you just ate ass.. ok.. yes… yes…YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’

‘phew…glad that’s over..’

‘You getting up? Could you get me a seltzer from the bodega?... Oh and don’t disturb Aunt Shirley on your way back in…’


+ DIGG + DEL.ICIO.US + REDDIT
Posted Feb 09 2009, 03:53 PM
Filed under: , , , , ,

Comments

vix_en25 said:

that got me soooooooooooooo hot

February 9, 2009 7:07 PM

McGruff said:

Jesus, is NOTHING immune from product placement these days?

February 9, 2009 9:52 PM

zeitgeisty said:

If I can spread the word in any way, on how delicious and refreshing Yorks are, I will do it.

February 9, 2009 10:16 PM

CONFESSION OF THE DAY

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ABOUT THE BLOG

DATE MACHINE explores the triumphs and tragedies of your dating confessions. Look here for commentary, dating advice, and our own salacious (or ridiculous) dating stories.

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FishnetsAndLight

Professional Dominatrix, lapsed English major and token black chick extraordinaire. I'm also a great big perv. Bend over.

Location:New York, New York
Looking for: Those who aren't too afraid.

Zeitgeisty

I'm an existentialist trapped in the body of a rational humanist. I've got a penchant for misanthropy and a flair for the obvious. I'm quick with a joke or a light up your smoke, but there's someplace that I'd rather be. I'm Zeitgeisty, pleased to meet me I'm sure. Visit my blog at www.walruscomix.com/zeitgeisty.

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Looking for: A shining good deed in a weary world...

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I am a fish out of water - an opinionated cheeky smiling English chick in a land of larger than life Americans. I don't understand the culture. I don't understand asking if we're exclusive. I don't understand this weird practice of decapitating penises. Some days I am definitely MILF material. Other days I feel more like the material on the inside of yer grannys' handbag.

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Location: The Igloo, Canada
Looking for: Nothing mediocre

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