A couple of posts ago, AHG mentioned the ‘most popular member’ section of the personals page here and how I had actually went out with a few of them years ago. Well, it got me a tad curious as to how that score is tallied. I mean, why exactly are they the most popular members? Who makes the decision? Anyway, I thought I should go back and take a closer look to see what makes these people so special. Of course, I only checked out the women (age range 18-99) because I don’t give a rat’s ass about the guys…
For brevity’s sake, I’m only going to comment on the top 20. Besides, you know anyone NOT in the top 20 has GOT to be a total loser right?.. Ok so here we go (I’ve left out the names to preserve some anonymity) … Let me preface this by saying, this is supposed to be HUMOROUS, don’t get your panties in a twist.. or do if it turns you on. Besides I know I’d never be on anyone’s top 20 list so fuck it!
20) malibugirl22 - Well this woman is a pretty attractive blonde woman in her 40s who obviously loves the sun - perhaps a tad too much. She lives in Malibu, but is originally from NYC. Personally, I don’t like the fact that she gave up on our fair city to go drop out in Malibu, but everyone’s gotta follow their own heart I suppose. Interestingly enough, perusing her photos I spot a couple of shirtless photos, as well as around 6 or 7 cleavage shots. Is this how she got into the top 20? Overall not a bad choice for 20 I guess, but of course for me – cleavage ALWAYS works.
19) ainjil - This 41 year old painter from Brooklyn is quite attractive and actually looks much younger in her photos. Her responses are somewhat pedestrian, although one comment struck me. On that sexy/sexier question they ask, this was her response…’Seeing cool glasses on a handsome young man is SEXY…Seeing his reading glasses on our bed table 20 years hence is SEXIER’…wow.. Uh…Yeah that would be an automatic disqualification for me right there. TOO PUSHY!
18) merf1961 - Well this Brooklyn woman in her 40s has a Beatles quote right up front, so that’s a plus, and she’s got one cleavage shot which was pretty cool, but I still couldn’t really understand what would make her the 18th most popular member on the whole website, that is until I saw this quote of hers…’ i wanna be a supa freak again, and i want one of those in my life: the real L word and all the juicy fruit that comes with. that's something i miss, and need’. I guess that... explains it all. It kind of makes me wonder what 'merf' stands for.
17) tenaciousone - A 45 year old mother from Los Angeles with a preponderance of blurry photos hits the charts at 17. She’s pretty cute I guess, although I really can’t tell, as the photos aren’t very high quality. However, there is one photo of her in her underwear, which I’m guessing must be what rocketed her up to such a high position. Her deepest desire is to “meet the coolest guy on the planet that wouldn't mind pulling me into the broom closet at a dull party”. Hey, sounds good to me, although.. does anyone have broom closets anymore? I think meeting the coolest guy on the planet might be an easier task than finding a broom closet.
16) soooovery - Ok, here we go. This person is definitely an attractive young girl, with a cool hair cut and an interesting nose. In addition she has a photo of her breasts in a tight t-shirt, which I’m always in favor of. However, I have to say she lost me with her profile. I mean with quotes like, “You can be a stock broker, but please play the drums or know somethings about Cubism.” And of course the inevitable ‘equally as comfortable’ chestnut… “I'm equally comfortable eating at a 5 star restaurant or grabbing a hot dog on the street. I'll hang in an exotic location or in a dive bar.”.. I mean she had TWO of those!!.. Nah.. Still I bid her well on her search for a douchebag stockbroker with a penchant for percussion.
15) WittyProf - This 40 year old Nicole Kidman look-alike seems like fun. Of course, I think she’s too attached to that whole ‘pout’ thing she’s got going on in her photos. Still, overall she’s a pretty comely character. I’m guessing the combo of professor and pout has landed her such a high position in the firmament. Her answers are pretty good as well, I especially like the Northern Exposure reference as it was one of my favorite shows. Overall I say she’s a catch!
14) Gatinha29 - In this 32 year old educator’s bedroom, you will find ‘cozyness’. Notables: she’s got one bikini shot, and a cat snuggling shot. Hard to say why she’s ranked as high as she is. Maybe it’s the fact that she ‘can’t live without’ a bikini (or acal juice for that matter). Who knows… maybe people are just looking for a little ‘cozyness’ in their lives…
13) kzvcla - Ok.. what’s going on here? This woman doesn’t even have a photo up? You see this makes me wonder about the whole decision making process. How does a profile with no photo make it to number 13 on the ‘most popular list’. Moreover, her responses are totally irritating. She highlights the regularity of her bowels, and the fact that she doesn’t fly coach. This is a head scratcher I have to say.
12) misschameleon - Alright back on track.. This 34 year old from California’s got not one but TWO photos of her in hot pants - one of which she’s leaping in the air like a gazelle! She belongs to some spiritual center called ‘Agape’, which I’ve got to say is definitely a questionable name, but then again my thoughts run towards the perverted. On the plus side, she wears hot pants and likes to leap, on the negative side, she mixed up the words ‘perspective’ and ‘prospective’ on the intro to her profile… ‘Hello perspective date..’. Still, that’s not that big a deal, as long as she leaps.
11) lilahtov - Ok here we go. At 11 is that girl I was talking about whose main profile photo was a shot of her jugs. Well, we really don’t have to go any further to understand exactly WHY she’s ranked so high up. The interesting thing though, is that the rest of her photos are so conservative. One quote struck me of hers…” I double dog dare you not to feel me back’. At 16 I suppose that would be an appropriately sassy remark, at 36…not so much.
10) MiffyStVondusen - Well we’ve entered the top 10, and the lucky contestant has three phptps of herself dressed in a skin tight rubber miniskirt. Yes… she’s earned her place. One quote disturbed me a tad though…” if I fall in love with you, I will WORSHIP you... Cool deal, eh?”.. Hmmm.. not so much.. can somebody say STALKER?
9) ShiksaBlondess - Hmmm.. in the 9 spot is a rather unassuming 40 year old with a pretty scant profile. She’s certainly handsome, but does she have what it takes to rank in at number 9? I’m a bit perplexed. Of course, there is one photo of her standing on what appears to be the great wall of china. So perhaps she’s got a large fan base there. I mean there are over a billion Chinese after all.
8) pippypippy - Again, a rather unassuming 36 year old teacher. She does have one photo in a bikini top, but it is completely devoid of any bad taste, so it couldn’t be that. I dunno.. you have me here. She is a cute gal, and all but there’s gotta be thousands of women on here.. she’s the 9th most popular?
7) Gazzelle - This 31 year old Brit is genuinely attractive, and has got a bit of a ‘La Femme Nikita’ thing going on. In other words she looks like she could probably kick my ass, which makes me reticent to say anything remotely snarky about her. Reading through her profile reminds me of our own resident Brit AHG, in the fact that she’s definitely got that brassy, loudmouth persona in full effect. All in all a good choice for 7 – especially if you like brassy loud mouthed Brits.
6) virtuallyskye - Alright, we’ve got a cleavage photo, a provocative silhouette, and risqué pic involving dripping ice-cream. Yes, we understand what shot this 37-ish? year old Sanfranciscan to the top of the heap. I say 37ish as she says she lies about her age. She’s into motor cycles and dogs, and might be up for a game of strip boggle. I appreciate that she said Boggle instead of something snobbier like scrabble or Yahtzee.. those games are for assholes.
5) Hmmmmm.. who do we have here at number 5 but our very own AirheadGenius. Well of course we’ve all gotten to know her well these past few months, and can completely understand her rightful place so high up in the stratosphere.On the flip side she can also be a piss-taking pain in the ass, but I’ve grown accustomed to it, much like a strong cup of black coffee, or olives. Notable photos are her famous Date machine shot that’s posted all over the place, and one in a bikini, although it’s kind of non-descript. As I went on a threesome date with her and amboabe, I highly recommend her to all gentlemen callers out there.
4)vindundschnee - Ok.. at number four is an attractive 36 year old Brooklyn woman, who from what I can surmise from her profile photos has got a very substantial upper half. I think this is the reason why the discerning men here have taken notice and pushed this woman to the fore. Plus she eats meat and drinks bourbon. The capper though is that in her room you’ll find both sloth and delight.. whereas in MY room you’d find sloth and MISERY. This is why she’s number four, and I wouldn’t crack the top 500. She's an ok choice for four, but really, her responses were pretty banal.
3) esm - Now we’re cooking.. we enter the TOP THREE with a 36 year old woman with ‘healing hands’ who may or may not be naked in her main profile photo! What she writes is a bit on the jejune side, although it seems genuine. Basically she’s ‘jejunuine’. Oh and she’s got a nice up shot photo in there to show off the top. That’s a good move. To be honest though, number three seems a bit high. Maybe she’s got one obsessed fan that keeps maniacally voting for her?
2) modernlace - Ok I’m stumped. This 45 year old Park Slope native seems pleasant enough, but with answers like ‘It’s all about chemistry’ and ‘I’m passionate about life’, it’s hard to understand the ranking? Albeit, she does appear to have some nice sweater meat going on - but number TWO? That’s really high… She does speak Hebrew though, perhaps she’s got the whole Hassidic community voting for her?
1) dreamergurly - NUMBER ONE!!!!!!!!!!......NUMBER ONE!!!!!!!!! Number… one? This 28 year old hairdresser from Brooklyn is pretty cute, but is she number 1?? First of there are absolutely no cleavage shots whatsoever! C’mon now, to get to number you gotta give it up!!.. well apparently you don’t actually. One disturbing bit is she’s taking DJing.. CLASSES!!.. CLASSES??? Hey.. I ‘ll give you one lesson, take the record out of its sleeve, put it on the turntable and turn it on. Of course, I think DJing is the biggest scam since Herbalife, but that’s just my opinion.
Well there you have it… the top 20 most popular female members (aged 18-99) on here. A solid collection I guess, although I don’t agree with every choice. Like I said, I’d never be selected in any kind of list like that… but then again, I’d never want be part of any club that would have me for a member.