What a week! That Aquaman guy won a bazillion gold medals, our Russian gymnast from Texas beat their Russian gymnasts from Russia -- while China's 14-year-old 16-year-olds beat everybody -- and our beach volleyball players were surprised to learn that any other countries even have beach volleyball. Still, none of it did a damned thing for world peace... and all we cared about was how it looked on TV.
Now that we have our priorities in order, let's get on with the highlights of the week.
Well, before the week had even started, we lost a couple of greats: comedian Bernie Mac and TV's singing Chef, Isaac Hayes. Sad news, America, indeed.
To cheer ourselves up, we watched the late-night talk shows go sex-crazy. Jay Leno made with the sexy talk to guest Scarlett Johansson, while guest Kate Mara was seduced by Craig Ferguson. But watching David Letterman's cool old morning show was almost enough to make us forget about him smooching with Gillian Anderson. (P.S.: Welcome, Fark readers! Feel free to take a look around.)
We chose ten guest stars for Friday Night Lights, cast the upcoming Hawaii Five-O remake and put a little comic relief into Heroes -- but also learned we were losing the only new 90210 cast member who could keep things in the family.
We learned that America's Next Top Model is getting a girl with something extra, and that Dancing With the Stars might soon have a contestant who can bring his own tights.
We went back to Animal House, and thought Ernest Borgnine would have fit right in. But we also learned stuff about Alanis Morissette and Dave Coulier that we oughtn'ta know.
We found out what would have happened on the canceled Journeyman, and it made us want to time-travel. But we'd still rather watch the Olympics in real time.
And finally, we learned that Bigfoot, Julia Child's spy career, Britney Spears' entertainment career and Donald Trump's heart might be more than just myths.
Previously:
The Weekly Rewind: Is Couch-Surfing a Sport?