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Our Trip To "Hannah Montana: The Movie"

Posted by Lindy Parker

 

Yes, fine, we saw it.  You're not really surprised are you?  Just for the record, we were not the only ones...

Disney's second film based on its mega-hit TV-and-music franchise opened to $34 million, surpassing estimates of most Hollywood insiders who had pegged it to open in the $20-million range," reports the Los Angeles Times.

Miley Cyrus' previous feature-film release, " Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour," released in early 2008, grossed $70 million worldwide ($65 million in the U.S.). (Los Angeles Times)

Since we assume not everyone will make time for a little trip to the theater this week, we've drawn up a little pro-con list for your convenience:

Pro: Vanessa Williams as Hannah's ruthless, couture-wearing publicist...

Actually, our enjoyment may have had something to do with the fact that at times, V. Williams' Hannah Montana role was weirdly indistinguishable from her character on Ugly Betty.

Con:  The plot centers around a piece of land in Crawley Corners that's about to be developed into a strip-mall-and-condo-monstrosity because the townsfolk can't afford the taxes.  Miley has to save the day by hosting a benefit concert as Hannah, and putting her secret identity at risk.  Question: Why can't Hannah just pay the taxes herself and call it a day?

Pro:  Getting chastised by the eight year old sitting next to us for not knowing the name of the pop princess singing on the soundtrack -- "Her name's Tiffani! God!"

Con: We're not sure we were prepared for a Billy Ray Cyrus romance.  Yikes.

Pro: The Non-Hannah Music -- Rascal Flatts (as Miley's uncles) sitting around on a porch with guitars singing "Bless The Broken Road" was kind of awesome.  Really, and we don't even like Rascal Flatts.  Also, the a capella Billy Ray/Miley duet was oddly affecting...

We hate ourselves for saying that.

Con: There was something vaguely creepy about Miley's cowboy love interest...

Funny, that's kind of the same reaction we have to Miley's actual boyfriends.

Pro: OMG, we love these boots...

Con: That's about where the outfit envy ends...

 

Bonus Con: Apparently, the filmmakers didn't find it necessary to sync Miley's mouth to the lyrics during the benefit concert.  Like not even close.  

Previously:

Tyra Banks in the Hannah Montana Movie [VIDEO]

Check Out The Hannah Montana Movie Trailer

Dolly Parton Snubbed By Hannah Montana?

How Old is Too Old For Hannah Montana?


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About Lindy Parker

Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She now writes for hooksexup.com's TV blog, "The Remote Island." She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

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Lindy Parker has worked as a ghostwriter, editor, dance instructor and a purveyor of dreams, one beer at a time. She loves Charles Dickens and Gabriel Garcia Marquez and also, straight-to-video releases with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. It's possible she reads more teen fiction than she should. She hails from Los Angeles, her hometown and soul mate, but she lives in Brooklyn, the fling she'll never forget.

Olivia Purnell left Ohio for sunny Los Angeles; then found that she couldn’t ignore New York City’s call, and brought herself to Brooklyn where she has worked with GenArt, BlackBook, the School of American Ballet, and finished an M.A. in Creative Writing from N.Y.U. She loves one-liners with sting and hates the stench of the subway in the summer. That said, she can’t get enough of either.

Jake Kalish is a freelance journalist and humorist whose work has appeared in Details, Maxim, Stuff, New York Press, Spin, Blender, Men's Fitness, Poets and Writers, and Playboy, among other publications. He is also the author of Santa vs. Satan: The Official Compendium of Imaginary Fights.

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Ben Kallen is an entertainment, health and humor writer who's been lectured to by Sidney Poitier, argued with by Lea Thompson and smiled at by Jennifer Connelly. He's the coauthor of The No S Diet and author of The Year in Weird, along with hundreds of magazine articles. He lives near the beach in Los Angeles, just like the gang from Three's Company.

Nicole Ankowski has lived in Ohio, Oakland, and on the high plains of South Dakota, but is now proud to call Brooklyn home. She wrote for alternative weekly papers in the first two states, and tried to learn Lakota in the last. (The vowels can be tricky.) She just earned her MFA in Creative Writing and has been published in Beeswax literary journal. She is unable to resist good writing or bad TV.

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