Heather Bell, 26

How has abstinence added to your sexuality?
Delaying sex meant that I was more ready to relax and enjoy it than I would have been because I was better educated and more comfortable with myself. But I think no matter how late you start there's a bit of a trial-and-error process until things really get rockin'.

What are the main pitfalls of abstinence?
Often people who plan for abstinence don't take any precautions against what might happen if/when they give in to temptation. So when they do eventually decide to have sex, they're less likely to have safer sex. Also, I think the idea of abstinence and its importance are often unfairly emphasized for women, leading to the idea that a woman's value is tied to her sexual purity, which I think is fundamentally harmful to women.

What is the greatest myth about people who choose abstinence?
I don't know about the greatest, but the myth I'd most like to see dispersed is that people only pledge their abstinence because they're saving themselves for marriage for religious reasons. I think there are lots of good emotional and physical reasons to delay sex that have nothing to do with religion or waiting for "the one."

My roommate and my good friend were dating, and they recently broke up. As the man in the middle, how do I handle the situation delicately?
This depends on what kind of breakup it was. A mutual, amicable, but sad parting? No big deal, you'll all be fine. She boiled his cat/he groped her friend/one vandalized the other's car? You're going to have to take a side. Decide now, make your position clear, and accept the fallout.

I recently noticed that my girlfriend always keeps her eyes closed when we're hooking up. Is this something I should worry about? If so, how do I bring it up?
It's not a problem. There are lots of reasons girls keep their eyes closed during sex/making out — here are some from my personal experience:

1. Guys make weird faces during sex; if I look at him I might laugh.

2. Maybe I'm making weird faces, and he's silently laughing at me.

3. You're not supposed to kiss with your eyes open so maybe not for this either? I'm not sure so I'll just keep them closed to be safe.

4. Ohmygod this feels so awesome I'm completely focused on my body, I don't want to be distracted by looking at my hot boyfriend.

That said, if it really bothers you, just ask for some eye contact. If there is a specific reason she's avoiding it, hopefully she won't mind just telling you.

I lied to a girl I've been seeing about my job; I was embarrassed to say I just worked a register. We've been seeing each other for over a month now — how should I come clean?
If you were just vague or said you had a similar but not-quite-so embarrassing job, like shift manager, you can probably get through this with minimal humiliation. If you told her you were a CEO/lead guitarist/government spy, you might as well prepare for things to end. As for how to break the news: do it soon, face-to-face, and start with, "When we met I really wanted to impress you because you're so awesome…"