Talking dirty is a tricky proposition…how dirty is too dirty, and when does dirty talk simply turn into a bad B-movie script? Adrian Colesberry used to fear the four-letter words (in bed), until he developed an ingenious formula. Learn from his mistakes...
But as soon as I rolled back on top of her, I started backpedaling. Why hadn't I just said, "I'm sorry. Dirty talk embarrasses me, and I just don't think I can do it." How hard is that? Then I had a happy thought: "Maybe I'll die in the act." For a couple of minutes, I concentrated on f*cking her so fast that I'd give myself a heart attack. But I ran out of air before I ran out of pump capacity.
Read the entire essay, you dirty little toe-sucker, you.