Have you seen the old Jerry Springer episode, featuring the guy who could only get it up when his girlfriend wore uncooked bacon as both bra…and panties? (Yes, of course Jerry made her wear it on the show! No, she was not hot enough to make it sizzle.) Well, Hooksexup broke the story of pork and sex, back in 2002:
“In its verb form, of course, ‘pork’ is a perfectly legitimate, if nasty, synonym for hot dirty naughty juicy hump-against-the-frat-wall sex. But who would ever take that literally?
Porkophiles, that's who. Or, to use the insider term, ‘porkers.’ Just when it seems that everything that could be fetishized has been — stockings, ponies, cigars, enormous fluffy puppets — the relentless dilating pupil of the human sexual imagination has fixed on the butcher's freezer. A growing community of sexual fetishists (mostly male, but with an emerging contingent of ‘porkettes’) is rolling in bacon, inserting bangers into their internal orifices, and smearing pork fat on as a creative lubricant. There are websites, newsgroups, festive "baco-balls." There's even a doctor (very discreet) whose specialty is treating porkophilic disorders, like trichonosis.”
Are you a carnivore, or just curious? Read the entire piece here.
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Okay, so the original “Porkophiles” piece was an April Fool’s joke.
And so was my Jerry Springer—bacon bikini reference. I just made it up, out of the Hooksexup-y perviness of my own mind.
And then I found this. You can't make shit up about Springer; he's done it all!