I was 17 years old when I had my first kiss.
It was the summer before I headed off to college, and she was the girlfriend of my best pal. I can still remember it clear as day, we’d been swimming at the public pool in our home town, and we were both lying down on damp towels – mine was festooned with Snoopys sporting his Joe Cool persona. All that day we’d been flirting with each other, but when she leaned over to plant one on me, I was still pretty surprised.
I must admit I felt a bit guilty, but not terribly, you see, my best friend was screwing some Fillipino chick on the side anyway. So I figured he wouldn’t care much. He was charismatic and exceedingly handsome – kind of like a strange hybrid of Brad Pitt and John Denver, and I really looked up to him. She on the other hand was kind of plain and non-descript, her most discernible feature being this big floppy head of over-dyed 80s hair, accented by a long rat’s tail running down her back. I was a skinny loser with glasses – horrible brown frames picked up from the post office. In a weird way, I felt she was more ‘in my league’ anyway, so it sort of made things alright in my head.
All that summer, she and I would drive around in her VW Golf, listening to her XTC and Smiths tapes, whilst excitedly talking of our adventures ahead at college. I think that summer was the last time I ever felt truly young.
On that fateful day at the community pool, my life changed forever.
Before the kiss I idealized women all out of proportion. To me they were unattainable and remote. I honestly felt that I’d wind up living a monastic existence completely devoid of female companionship. As soon as her tongue snuck into my mouth, twisting and mingling with my own - the spell was broken.
I sometimes think about how far away it seems to me now. All the vaginas, assholes, jugs, hands, and lips I’ve slipped in and out of over the years makes it hard to realize it all started with a simple kiss at a community pool - a kiss which felt both strange and eerily familiar all at the same time.
My best friend eventually found out about it, but he didn’t care, like I said he banging that Fillipino chick and was looking for a way out of the relationship anyway.
As for ‘my first kiss’, well I actually still hear from her every now and again all these years later. She’s married now and living in DC. I think she works for Verizon or something…
She doesn’t have the rat’s tail anymore
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